Hmm. I am sitting at the computer, trying to think of something intelligent to say. Being a blogger is a bit like that courtship part of a relationship, where you want to completely charm someone and win them over to your crazy life.

So here are some things about me you should know if you want to date me.

1. I don’t keep house well.

2. I bathe on a regular basis.

3. Given an ultimatum to choose between cigarettes or a girl, I will always pick the girl.

4. I like cheesy pop songs.

5. I get sad on a frequent basis, and I’m happiest when I have the chance to just give of myself to someone special.

6. While I have erotic dreams of cavorting with Nicole Kidman, I’m probably the most monogamous person you’ll ever meet.

7. I like gay porn.

8. I’m not scared of committment (although I am a bit scared of my new teeny apartment.)

9. I sometimes eat bacon.

10. I will always want to come to your house late at night armed with chocolate cake and latex.