Next to “Funbags” . . .

“Maidenhead” is the other female anatomy terminology I loathe, it is totally like, Shakespearian virgin porn. I can’t believe something as ridiculous as a hymen is so valued in our society. IT’S JUST A PIECE OF SKIN! And tons of girls lose it on their lonesome, it’s not always going to be there just because someone hasn’t had sex yet. How come there isn’t an equivalent male virgin term either? Like “Unenclosed man pole” or “soon to be sullied boy junk.”

Plus, I don’t understand the fetish for virgins. I guess it’s some kind of prowess thing, or maybe just a secretly handy way of mitigating performance anxiety by knowing you won’t be compared to anyone. You’ll always be the best lover someone ever had if you’re the ONLY lover someone ever had.