In a world . . .

I don’t talk about it much, but I currently research the history of residential schools in Canada for a job, and it messes me up to the point where I have to take breaks to twiddle about with other things. This is one of those breaks. Did you know the phrase “Final Solution” was coined by a Canadian, and referred to the “Indian Problem” and the fact that an average of 50% of students died in the “schools”? They had kind of a Thunderdome approach to aboriginal education, a sort of two man enter one man leaves kind of thing. The last residential school was at Gordon’s, here in Saskatchewan, and didn’t shut down until 1996.

My eyes hurt, I can only read about genocide of my people for so long.

It’s still freezing cold, I think, I haven’t looked out the window at the themometer yet. I had a dream about Helen Mirren the other night, she was in Caligula, in real life and in my dream. She’s off to hang with the Queen herself, the real Queen.

Aboriginals have a funny relationship to the Queen. She’s the one we have treaties with. Us and the Queen. I’m hoping to go to Buckingham palace to do some kind of impromtu performance art intervention, but I’m worried overzealous post-911 cops will shoot me for being a “terrorist.”

The Queen is a colonialist terrorist.

The other day I was going to order something from the States, I think it was Metrosexuality, a Channel 4 comedy series about some queers in Nottingham Gate, and a friend and my mother both got upset about it and told me to order it from a commonwealth country.

The sun never sets on Ebay.

My mom doesn’t want the monarchy to crumble, because if it does then where does that put our treaties? Does it get handed over to the Canadian government, or will they get all weird and try to ignore all our rights?

I like the Queen though, I don’t know her. I’ve never met her, or seen her in person. She stayed in a hotel just down the block from where I’m working now once. I don’t know what she does. I remember Roald Dahl had her in his children’s book the BFG (Big Friendly Giant) and I thought it was tremendous.

None of me is English at all, I’m all Scots or Irish or Cree. But all of those identities are ruled by the Queen. I’m a little colonial subject through and through.

She has great hats doesn’t she? It seems to be a prerequisite for royalty, to have excellent hats. Does she ever wear t-shirts I wonder?

I can’t believe I used the term Post-911. It’s like that raspy trailer voice over guy “In a Post-911 World where spam crushes political blogging dissent, one colonized racial mutt tries to make a difference . . .” Ugh, anytime I see a movie trailer that starts with the phrase “In a world where . . .” I just want to run out of the theatre screaming. Who is the guy who does that voice over anyway? Why does he always start it out that way?

“In a world where the Queen has access to the only millinery shop . . .”
“In a world where terrorism is art, and art is terrorism, and terrorists make art about artists making terrible art . . .”
“In a world where colonial burnout leads to random blogging . . .”