Declassified Indian Knowledge

Okay, if France is declassifying, so am I. Why not?

Here in Canada, and probably everywhere around the world, there exists a race of interdimensional beings we call “Little People.” And I don’t mean like that tv show. I mean like gnomes, as my cousin calls them. For some reason in my family they are commonly witnessed by people. My cousin has counted seven different species of Little People as they show up on her farm. At this point she doesn’t even want to look at gnome figurines anymore.

Human remains really do walk around museums.

There is an increase in poltergeist activity. My friend Preston’s house ended up having multiple spirits wandering around the basement and banging on the walls. One night one made everyone talk about the most morbid stuff they could think of for THREE hours until we finally left the house for pancakes and realized we got really fucked up. My cousin and I could feel two vortex’s in his house and didn’t know how to close them.

When I helped a friend edit a video about the missing women in Vancouver, some really creepy stuff happened. The final cut pro system would suddenly make edits on it’s own. We were on the third floor and could hear people knocking on the windows. The pipes in the ceiling were banging. A mysterious figure would let us in after hours. And finally, as my friend walked past a water cooler from five feet away it started to rock violently back and forth.

I have heard unearthly voices, and seen strange lights, and watched sparks fly past me. My cousin has talked to me from beyond the grave, although he’s really funny so it’s not creepy. I have seen men standing next to their coffins. I’ve felt hundreds of spirits still walking around in places like Sachsenhausen. And I also know for a fact that spirits will haunt murderers, which is the only reason Karla Holmolka started making mistakes. People don’t just vanish all together. They just don’t have a physical body anymore.

People like to believe that death is the absolute end, but it isn’t. There are all kinds of things you can’t even begin to imagine. You call it insanity to make yourselves feel better.

And even worse, consider this: how many aboriginal spirits do you imagine wander through the Americas? And what do you think they remember?