When I was a kid I was addicted to reading books about the paranormal. And as an adult, I’ve had my fair share of paranormal events. Possibly enough to write an entire book on, to be honest. I know being a crazy person, certain one’s get written out pretty much immediately if they’re genuine hallucinations. I can tell the difference, believe it or not.

Not half an hour ago I watched my mum’s ivy plant start moving around for no reason, like something brushed against it. It spooked the shit out of me.

Once I had a roommate who had a poltergeist attached to her. One day she and I were talking and a pink lighter materialized out of nowhere and fell on the floor two feet away from us.

And then there was the infamous UFO sighting.

We saw two of them, and they were each a fair size. Green and kind of whispy, with really bright glowing orbs. That was intense. I mean really, Aliens! What else can I say? It’s insanity out here in Saskatchewan.

When I first got out of the hospital there was a poltergeist in my apartment knocking on the floor and the walls.

And then there was Preston’s house. He had a ghost that knocked on walls. One time I was taking a piss and that fucking ghost knocked on the wall behind me. I didn’t know what to do, because I just kept peeing so I couldn’t run. And chills were running up and down my spine at that thing being so close to me.

I’ve been around it so much. I want it to be over. No more freaking paranormal things to happen. But my psychic told me I was more paranormal than spiritual. Dammit! Why do I have to be crazy AND be as suseptible to spooks and extraterrestrials? Why not one or the other? Now nothing I say is credible, except that all the events described above have other eye witnesses.

I think I should try and be more spiritual. I’m not sure how to start though. Something simple.