Is what I got in a porn spam today. How elegant, I thought. A sugar sitting on a playthinge and evolving on it. What does sugar evolve into I wonder? Candy. For sure. All different kinds.

But who or what is the playthinge?

I am trying to resolve to write in this more. Going crazy and writing silly things kind of put me off blogging for a while. But I’m enjoying it again I think. 2007 sucked all around for mental health.

2008 has been pretty good.

I pick up my meds tomorrow. I missed last night’s meds because I have only one dose left, so I went to bed fine but woke up early. Tonight I’ll be appropriately medicated again and then I’ll have my bubble packs again. I’ve been doing the bubble packaging ever since getting out of the hospital, since I’m now on quite the cocktail of meds.

100mg of Seroquel
6mg of Risperdone
750mg of Epival
20mg of Celexa

It really works, especially since I have some pretty bad manias and pretty severe depressions. None of that for several months now. It’s been pretty even, I just get grumpy now and then if I forget my meds. It’s good being stable.

I didn’t party at all last night, if you are wondering. I just came home and goofed around on the internet before going to bed. There was some big rave last night but I didn’t go, I think my raving days are over.

Getting older is so funny, only a few months ago I was still in my twenties. Now I’m thirty and still waiting for the right woman. Sigh. I feel old compared to the people I’ve been hanging out with, who are in their early twenties. I need some older friends. Or rather, I need to spend more time with them, since I do have bunches of friends my age.

You know but you acting like you don’t know!

I’m still getting carded though. Even with this huge fuckin dragon tattoo on my forearm people still wonder if I’m underage. Not to mention all my other tattoos.

I found this old footage I shot on Mini DV that I want to do something with, but I don’t know what yet. It’s really beautiful.

My mom and I are getting along a lot better. Although she was doing this immense job of ripping up all this grass so she could put her pool in, and I had to help! I hate physical labour. Like digging trenches, noooooo! Don’t make me! Now I have dirty fingernails.

I’m resolving to do no more drugs beyond pot. I think I’ve been pretty lucky with my recreational drug use, of which I have written here, but it’s time to retire undefeated. I’m 30, I had my crazy twenties, it was a good time, but it’s over. I’m evn thinking of quitting drinking. I don’t do it a whole lot, and I don’t see the point to it either. Besides that, I want to keep being stable and I know pot hasn’t been bad to me in the past. Speedy drugs though, like e, not good.

I’m trying to be better to myself, it’s been challenging. I’m trying to schedule in more me time. It’s been good so far.

I think I am going to go see Wanted tonight, just because Angelina Jolie is in it and she’s my current celebrity crushola.
Be sure to remember the playthinge!