I am REALLY tired today. I hardly slept last night because I had this insistent low grade stomach pain from about 10pm until 5am. I was also sharing the bed with my dog and cat, and they collectively took up most of the space and squished me against the wall, my head resting on a pillow resting on a dildo. Not very comfy. I did move the dildo, I’m not that crazy, but it made me realize I need a shelf or something by my bed. Or another box.

But the tummy pain has me worried. I think most of it will stop when I get my gallbladder removed, but that might be a while still. And I am nervous about getting surgery. Eeep!

I have gone two days without a cigarette! And today I didn’t use my inhaler or my lozenge or any NRT at all. Just willpower! It seems to be working. I had very little to smoke for the last week, maybe one a day, except friday I totally smoked. But the rest of the weekend, nothing! I really hope this is it.

I really want to go to bed early, I am so tired from last night’s rolling about in pain. And I forgot my night meds last night, and today I am hearing this shush shush noise, I am not quite sure what that’s from. It could be from getting off my celexa too. But it’s just this weird noise, I’ve gotten it before when I forget a dose of meds.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. I am going to spend it as a single, just like I have for 31 years! I can’t believe I only had a girlfriend once on Valentines day! Or was it twice? Hmm, one I call my ex but we never sat down and defined what making out whenever we saw each other meant. But she didn’t spend Valentine’s Day with me either, so I stand by my 31 years of singleness on Valentines Day. I just really liked spring summer fall relationships I guess.

It’s not even 9 o’clock yet! But I want to crawl into bed and sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep! Oh it would feel so nice, and my tummy doesn’t hurt today!