It’s Sunday. My third sober weekend in a row. I drove around with a friend last night, we drove out to Cranberry Flats, my first time country driving. I was so nervous about hitting a deer or going on the soft shoulder and rolling! And going that fast in the rain through puddles was TERRIFYING! Oh mans! But I did it! Yay me!

I’m waiting for Mum to wake up from her nap so we can finally start planting the garden. My little Pumpkin plants need to get in some soil! They already have some flower buds on them. Exciting!

I’m doing okay I guess, with my sobriety and that. I did some googling and found an international NA group in Hamburg that does a meeting in English on Saturday nights. So I might go to that, since I will be away from my concurrent disorders group.

I bought some tapes and blank DVD’s and a keyboard cover for my mac the other day. Woot! Ha ha, that is totally NOT impressive! Except IT IS! I got six tapes to shoot my video with and a bunch of other stuff! OH MANS! I have to be totally on my game when I go to Germany and NOT FORGET to pack my firewire cable! I have no idea what cablez and stuff are compatible over there! I got my friends on facebook to help me make a list of things that butches look sexy while doing! Here are a few of them (names removed to protect my friends who do not want to end up on my interminable blog!):

do that butch walk >:D haha

Thirza Cuthand Where should I walk? Down the riverbank? In front of Mark Wing’s Noodle? 🙂 Thirza Cuthand I think I need a long brick wall!

uh fixing cars? this femme likes that kinda thing 🙂

Thirza Cuthand That’s a good one too! I could fake changing a tire or something, or just looking under the hood! Thirza Cuthand Ooooh! And hammering something!

either would work ;P both is double hot – hammering good too

eheheh you should wear like a lumberjack jacket and walk with a axe or carrying some wood. >:D!

omg cutting down a tree of course that needs to return to the earth 😉

Thirza Cuthand Ha ha ha! I don’t know where I would get a lumberjack jacket! I am the wimpiest at cutting wood!

building a fire, a huge one!

Thirza Cuthand I could build a fire tho! Thirza Cuthand Woah! You read my mind!

hmmm – yes – building a raft and going downstream

Thirza Cuthand Ha ha, maybe that one is too advanced for me! I’m Butch, not Super Butch! LOL! Thirza Cuthand Working out! 😀

playing guitar or drums is kindof butch sexy. Def need a brick wall. Butch bartenders are hot too.

Weights, eating healthily (being healthy is always sexy), displaying bicep mucles (along with underarm hair), bike-riding, butchy grooming, playing a musical instrument in a butch manner, and cooking with a cocky smile (though that’s sexy on everyone). Voting… not physically fighting… not standing idly by either… Oh, and I’ll admit it: I’m a total sucker for construction, physical maintenance, and having some serious style in the Modern department. Courtesy. Hmm, what else… Butch-Punk hairstyles, cuff-bracelets, big men’s rings, male part in couples’ formal dancing, martial arts, letting lip hair grow in, being masculine enough not to care so much about how things are categorised… 😉

Taking care of a pet, washing dishes, vacuuming, holding someone’s hand while they’re crying, big bear hugs…. I think it’s sexiest when butches do things that are supposed to not be “masculine tasks.”

if this is meant to be parody/comedy about being butch and what its supposed to mean, then i vote for doing all the crazy outdoor stuff (especially the bareback riding) and the then have a shot of you curled up with bunny slippers on cuddling mister and watching sex and the city. 🙂

smoldering stare.

***********end of part 1************

So there’s the list so far. I also have fake mustaches to wear, which will be fun, and a packer, somewhere! Oh, and y front underwear (boy gitch!).

I went to NA today. It was pretty good. I came home and read some more articles on thefix.com. There was a really good one about Intervention, they have a really high rate of success with their subjects. I also read about sobriety at Burning Man and how they have sober camps and stuff. Maybe someday I will go, I really want to.

I don’t know what I want to write about today. I want to write, but there isn’t really anything of note to mention, except that I am still chugging along with my sobriety. I used to think I was just going to NA as a support group, but now I am thinking more seriously about actually working the steps. I realize I need to get to a place where I am not just abstaining, I am thriving. And maybe there is something to these steps. So I have already done step one, in admitting I am an addict. Now I am thinking about step 2. Step 2 is We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. My real problem with this step is articulating what a Power greater than myself is. As a Buddhist or whatever I am, I feel that there is no distinctly external God, I believe that I am a facet of God and an embodiment of it. Which makes this tricky. Because it seems that this greater Power is an external being or force. What I really should do is meditate on this or something. I downloaded the Basic Text and am making my way through it. I also just found some online chapters about the steps, so I am going to read those. In practical life I have found that the Power greater than myself which restored me to sanity was pharmaceuticals, but that’s not exactly something I want to base a recovery program on. I really have to do some serious thinking on this.

Well, that’s about all I can write for today. Butches and Step 2!