So I am trying to get back to what I was doing when my blog was more popular, which is writing essays, and I think I sort of did that in my last entry.  But this post, since I haven’t had an epiphany to write about, will probably be more like usual, just blabbing about life.

I was in Estevan this morning, Mom and I went down there yesterday for a closing reception of a group show she was in.  It was nice, but we ate all this road food for the last thirty hours or so and so I got tired of it.  The hotel was nice, we had two queen beds and I had a really good sleep.  I didn’t do any driving down, but when we drove back up I drove from Davidson, which is just over an hour from Saskatoon.  Mom stuck her finger in my ear while I was going 110 km an hour down the highway and I was like “Ahhhhhhh!  Don’t!”  I’m very inexperienced on highways, it still makes me nervous.

On the way back, just before we went through Regina, we took a detour to Rouleau which is where Corner Gas was filmed.  We got a bunch of pictures of us in front of beloved set pieces like the gas station and the Ruby.  It was fun.  The set was a lot smaller in person than it seemed in the tv show.  They had the Dog River police car there too.  It was super easy to find.  I kind of wanted us to go looking for Oscar and Emma’s house, but it probably wouldn’t get the same impact as those iconic buildings.  And besides, we were just passing through.

I didn’t get the job/residency.  It bummed me out, but also it might be good because then I can concentrate on writing grants, which I have to do.  I would have liked to learn about working with actors, but maybe I can get some books out of the library, I should look at what they have.

I am going to be applying with my Mars project to the Sask Arts Board.  I’m going to do it as a web series though.  I really hope I can get funding, this will be the third time I’ve tried to get it funded, the first time applying to SAB though.  Canada Council juries rejected it twice.  Which means I can’t apply to them again, at least not with this project.

I finally did my final report for Sask Arts Board.  All I have to do now is take it down and drop it off on Monday.  It really wasn’t that hard.  I have another report I have to do for Canada Council, for my travel grant to go to Tribeca Film Festival.  Should be simple. 

I’m realizing I need to make a conscious decision to make a living doing my own projects.  Nobody’s going to hire me to make a tv series or a movie if I don’t just do it myself for a while.  I do get grants sometimes, the trick is utilizing them so that I am constantly learning new skills that are useful down the road.  Like, I need to work with actors, so if I can get funding for a web series, maybe I can hire some actors to work with for a few weeks or something.  And learn!  I don’t know how I will make money, but clearly some web series DO make money, so I can look into that.  It’s advertising.  Blah!

It’s a Friday night!!!  I’m pretty tired, we got up early to come home.  It’s my friend’s birthday but she didn’t invite me out with her to party, so I am staying home and anyway, she would probably just want me for a designated driver anyway and I am retiring from that.  I don’t get treated well enough and it’s a sucky job because drunks are incredibly irritating.  UGH!  And the bonus of being sober is that you don’t hang out with drunks anymore, so why would I?  I do like going to bars, but not like, straight dance clubs.  UGH!  They are the ultimate in tedium.  I’d rather be in a gay dance club or a straightish pub where there are places to sit and food.  AND my friends who drink want to drink until the bitter end, and I’d rather go home around one.  I don’t want to be out at two thirty!  BLEH!  So nope nope nope!  No more hanging around with drunks!  I’ll hang out with them before they go out drinking!

I did go with my friend Daniel to this pub called State and Main and had some non alcoholic beers tonight, which was nice because we chatted about all kinds of things.  Then we walked through downtown at around 9:10 and it was already sketchy.  We passed a group of about four nine year olds who were smoking weed and exclaiming about the “Good Kush!”  They looked like they came from just over Idylwyld in Riversdale, and they probably stole it from their parents.  My mom pointed out that at least they weren’t huffing, or doing IV drugs, which is true, it could be worse.  I thought I was over being shocked by drug use, but drug use, even something soft like weed, among pre-pubescent youth is still pretty shocking to me.

Daniel was asking me if as a sober person, there were things I do that are mind altering, or if all of that is gone.  I started coming up with a list of sober yet mind altering things, like exercise, and meditation, and piercings, and when I get tattooed this next week it will be mind altering, and pain like as in BDSM.  Which I really don’t do nearly enough, if at all.  Not at all.  I miss it.  I never had it on a regular basis, it was a pretty special occasion thing, but if I had my way it would be more integrated into my life.

I’m getting tattooed by my Mom’s friend’s daughter Tramaine on Friday! It’s going to be a piece of my Mom’s artwork, her little dollies from Misuse Is Abuse.  I’m excited!  It should be a really fast and relatively easy tattoo.  Not as hardcore as getting all those scales done on my dragon.  It’s going to be on the same arm as the Dragon too!  Mom likes tattoos because she says they are like warm drawings.  And I do want something for my mom, without just getting something that says “Mom” on it. 

Anyway, that’s all she wrote!  She being me!  I have to sleep!