Ha ha I’ve been looking at stats for my site and the most popular blog post BY FAR is one I wrote a long time ago called Super Labia and the title just refers to a story I wrote about how my friend who is a nurse was learning to put in a catheter and the dummy had really stiff labia.

So I thought, MAYBE I can make another blog post be popular, so I put the word clit in this title.

BUT you’ll be happy to know there actually is a story behind the title. I was reading that there is a new sex enhancing treatment for women where they inject your own plasma into your own clit to have more orgasms.

OKAY, I don’t know how they came up with that, or how long it lasts. But as someone who has had my clit hood pierced THREE times in my life, well Jesus I mean that is bad enough, I can’t imagine getting a needle in my ACTUAL clit. YIKES! No. No thanks. I am not that crazy!

Which brings me back to my check in and why I was writing this blog post in the first place.

It has been a week or so on my increased Wellbutrin dosage. It’s been a weird week, even though I’ve tried to keep it a bit quiet. I’ve been a bit weepy, and that’s starting to ease up. But before it did I got kind of crabby and irritable. Like I was really fed up with people and I’m usually pretty easy going and I was just SO CRABBY so that was weird. And I hate being crabby but also sometimes I just AM crabby and it’s usually tied to my mood disorder and especially med changes, but sometimes really it’s just because there’s a reason. BUT sometimes if I am having a med change AND someone’s pissing me off, I am so not diplomatic about it.

Also sometimes I just felt REALLY goofy. So goofy. I mean in a silly way. And I think that’s the antidepressant too, I felt pretty happy and silly about it and I’m not sure what that means. I hope it doesn’t mean hypomania and it just means being less depressed. I think the fact that it wasn’t constant is helpful.

Being bipolar is a little bit like being on a teeter totter. I’m sure you can see the metaphor without me explaining it. Or maybe a rollercoaster. It’s a weird place to be sometimes.

So I’m just tired of feeling a bit crazy often. I’ve really noticed my anxiety this past year. I recently had a form filled out which listed my diagnoses of Bipolar disorder I and Anxiety, and for both of them it said they would stay the same and not improve. AND I was just bummed out seeing that. I mean, it’s true. And it’s totally something I can live with and work with, and the meds are really good and I do have a pretty normal life, sort of. It’s just disappointing to be like, yeah, that’s a forever thing. Especially when meeting new people and trying to come across as like, a decent possible partner or work associate, and knowing because of my art practice (AND this blog with the super labias and so on) they will probably google me and find out I have this weird illness. Stigma is real. And I am an awesome worker as a filmmaker and writer, and I can be an amazing sexy sweet girlfriend. It’s just odd.

BUT I am not injecting plasma into my clit. I’m not hiding the terrible posts of my manic writings in 2007. I’m keeping myself clean and groomed and not slipping into dirty depressions with really messy stuff. I’m doing my work as an artist.

It’s kind of funny everyone loves the Super Labia post tho. I wonder why? Who knew labia could be so popular?

OH YEAH! This weird thing happened to me at my performance and screening the other night. Some woman with a baby came up after and told me I taught my kid his first swear and all about sex. And I was like, WHAT THE FUCK? (I was more diplomatic about it but in my head I was like WHAT THE FUCK?) Like I should censor my entire art practice because someone will bring a baby to my shit? WHAT THE FUCK? Get outta here with your baby if you’re offended, I used the term cum towels in the first part of my performance, surely that should clue you in. ALSO I didn’t even show the super explicit stuff. Cause I never show that stuff in Saskatchewan everyone has a cow. ANYWAY, for those who wonder, yes it’s pretty much adult themes in my work, even when there isn’t explicit sex (which there sometimes is) so think about it next time you’re going to try and guilt me because you didn’t think about your damn baby!