So it’s finally public! I am in the Whitney Biennial! I’ve been sitting on it for ages and just like, amassing a large collection of nice shirts while I wait for the news to come out. Unfortunately I didn’t also collect many nice pants, so right now my wardrobe is like, nice button ups and shabby jeans. BUT I am going to New York in May when they do the opening receptions and so maybe I will go to Macy’s and get something decent from the plus section.

This past weekend I was at OUTsider Festival in Austin Texas and it was amazing. I got to see so many old friends, and be with an old girlfriend of mine I had dated when we were way young. It was nice seeing so much amazing art and meet amazing artists. I showed an early career retrospective of my work, 9 of my videos from Lessons In Baby Dyke Theory to Reclamation. People loved it. I was so nervous, I don’t know why I still get nervous. I think maybe because I was at the end of the festival on the last day, and everyone was doing amazing work. I admit I still have some insecurities.

Anyway, I was in the cab on the way back from the airport yesterday when they announced the artist list for the Whitney Biennial and I was like “OMFG FINALLY” because I kept waiting and waiting and WAITING to be able to talk about it. And now I can!

I have so many feelings about it. I think the audience reaction to my work at OUTsider Festival kind of made me feel a bit more secure like “OHhhhh maybe it’s time, maybe people are ready.” I mean I have had a LOT of opportunities, I don’t want to sound like I have been toiling in obscurity. But my work is weird, and because it uses a lot of comedy (sometimes but not always) people often kind of dismiss it I think, especially as experimental film. Like I’m not really a formalist of any kind, I just like making weird videos with political points about my communities and because I don’t know what other genre to put them in I say they are experimental. Some of them are WAY experimental tho, like not all of them are laugh fests. Although the two videos that will be in the Whitney are pretty funny.

I think maybe I was worried when I first found out I was in the Whitney about sort of, professional jealousy from friends. I don’t know why I worried about it. Mostly people have responded really enthusiastically and are happy for me. I’m trying to remember that we really do want to see each other succeed. It’s not a competition. Although admittedly sometimes it feels that way.

I think the other thing I was worried about was like, getting ungrounded and turning into a diva or something. But it’s been public for over 24 hours now and even though my name is out there and I am getting congrats from people, I also did all my laundry this afternoon, and I think I gotta clean the house, and I still have an ant infestation to deal with. I found another nest they are living in, in my cactus, and so I gotta use diatomaceous earth on it. I’m trying to get back into my work because I do have a couple of short scripts to write, a video/performance to make by the beginning of April, rando paperwork from other things that needs to be done. I need to update my bio and my C.V. Just art junk ha ha.

I’m a little worried about the public scrutiny that comes with things like this. But mostly I am trying to just enjoy what is happening for me. I’m in the screening so my work won’t be seen at the Whitney until the end of the Exhibition, in September. But I am gonna go down for the opening receptions and stuff. I want to meet the other artists. And see it in all it’s glory! And wear some of my super nice shirts. Hopefully I can get better pants by then.