I got my second shot yesterday! I’m a free elf! Ha ha not really I need to wait 13 more days before I can be safe. But, that’s pretty good. I’ve been trying to get outside more this last month, mostly just walking the dog but also I went to a couple places outside my neighbourhood to visit friends who had both also been vaccinated. Like, on transit. I’m not as scared on transit, I still wear my mask tho.

But right now we are on a Stay At Home Order, so I guess I have to stay at home, though I think we’re allowed to go out for exercise, and I still walk my dog.

I had my house cleaner come two times since the last time I wrote here. It’s really amazing he does a really good job. He whipped my kitchen and bathroom into shape, and the second time he got rid of cardboard for me and cleaned up two bookshelves and half the living room, along with going over the bathroom again and some of my bedroom. I have one really really bad area that needs work next time so I’m looking forward to that.

It was just really overwhelming me, the cleaning. I’m a single person and there’s no one around to help me with the house, so having the money to pay for someone to come over is just really nice.

I am dipping my toe into the stock market and crypto and I was kinda looking at the subreddits for that but it’s so bro-ey, can’t handle it. I don’t know what I’m doing tho and most of this just has to sit around and be longterm investments. I did actually go to the bank and get a legit RSP tho. It was a very mature conversation with my financial advisor and we talked about what risk level I was comfortable with, and already it’s made 26 dollars which is kinda cool. I’m invested in three cryptocurrencies also which is like, toxic money. But I admit I was curious so there it is. One is a joke currency but also might end up giving me a few hundred dollars who knows.

I got a COVID 19 cheque from my reserve so I bought some clothes, a new button up and a few plain tshirts and a few masks. Ha ha so boring.

I also bought new shoes from overseas so I hope they fit, they might be really sexy I’m excited, they are black brogues. I was going to buy the same style from a queer shoe place but they had VEGAN leather which is just plastic and more environmentally toxic than real leather since they’ll be around forever. No one needs my old shoes in a hundred years.

I had deleted my dating apps and profiles a while back because I just didn’t want to go there again trying to find someone to date, and thought it would be better to meet someone in real life. Then after I got my last shot I was suddenly like “OMG I SHOULD GO BACK ONLINE!” No. No one cares. I do not have great luck on dating apps, or if I do get lucky then it turns out that person just wanted a hookup and isn’t serious. Bad places to look for love. When I think about it, the last lover I had that I was saying I love you to and hearing it back was someone who had been a friend for a long time (and a date a couple decades before that) so honestly real life is more emotionally resonant for my relationships. Plus I’m an Indigenous person with a tattooed face and people don’t check their racism before swiping left on me. But do I want to date a racist anyway? No not really.

ANYWAY blah blah whine whine. I am doing good with my work stuff, have a few projects going on. This vaccine is gonna allow me to go back to Saskatchewan and finish filming a video that will be a multichannel immersive installation. It’s tackling the racism that’s in Saskatchewan by using the stories told by five (or six?) Indigenous women and people who lived there and dealt with shit. Anyway I am going to go around to some of the places and film video that will be used to illustrate it, not so much like, actual actors or anything, just scenes from Saskatchewan. I guess it’s a documentary. It’s long overdue to be finished and I need to finish it so that I can get my next grant in August to make a video game about a lesbian vampire.

Sometimes I talk about my work to people and I forget that it’s interesting because so often it just becomes WORK and things I need to complete. But it is really nice to work on this stuff. I think I faltered on the immersive installation not only because of COVID but also because I was like “Is there anything radical about talking about racist trauma?” But fuck life is not all triumphant. Shit happens, this is the life we are living. Even my short that we are trying to get out there is about racist trauma and I’m like “Do I have any right to talk about trauma?” but things are hard and these are real stories that happen in Saskatchewan.

Anyway. I have a steak I need to cook, I thawed it a couple days ago and I don’t want to chuck it even tho I’m fairly full from an early supper of leftover noodles.

I’m also close to being done my feature script and then I can start work on another!!! For a while. Until we get some more help finishing or something I’m not entirely sure!