I finally got to see my incisions and nipples today. I was so concerned about how my nipples would come out, but they look excellent! I mean obviously they are doing a healing thing and are darker than they normally are. But they are cute and small and flat! I got to take a shower and took some photos of my torso. I’m so excited to be a torso on Grindr ha ha ha!
But I’m not really gonna circulate pics of my healing chest, even tho I have taken pics along the way. I just don’t want terfs to go around posting them and calling me mutilated or disfigured because that’s what those assholes do. ESPECIALLY because really it looks very awesome. But I don’t want to give them ammunition. But it is such a lovely chest and nips!
It’s interesting, before I could see under the dressings I felt like a kid again. Like the last time I had no boobs was when I was 11. And so I kind of self-infantilized myself I guess when I was first getting used to my new body. But after seeing nipples and being able to take some torso pics I feel more like I can see the man I am. It’s especially hard to infantilize tattoos and a mini beer gut. I mean I love my tummy tho also ha ha.
I’m excited to continue with my healing. Now a lot of my restrictions are gone so I can do things like have a shower without help, so that is super nice! And I can take the binder off for three hours a day! And go out and about in the neighbourhood and city. I still use a mastectomy pillow in the car, but aside from that I feel very free. I can also carry 15lbs. My dog weighs more than that tho, so she will still need someone else to walk her. She’s decided she can’t go for a walk without me though, so someone else has to carry the leash while I follow. She’s so silly.