I went to the Governor General Awards this weekend to see my Mom and my Auntie Lori get their Governor General Awards. It was a pretty cute scene. They had four years of awards to get through because they paused doing the in person awards ceremony during the pandemic. We got to sit in Rideau Hall and the award winners went up and someone read part of the nomination for them and then they got to see the Governor General Mary Simon who gave them their award and took a photo. It was in this wild room that was made to look like a tent, a pink and white tent. And there was a big painting of the Coronation of Queen Victoria at the front of the room.

My Mom asked permission to hug the Governor General and then they hugged which was really sweet. It’s not against protocol apparently. It took a while to get through everyone but the whole event was very joyful which was nice. Then we got fed some fancy foods. There were all kinds of little desserts too. And then we did a tour of Rideau Hall, except for the upstairs because that’s where the private residence is. But we got to see the rooms they would meet people in or keep their art works. And we got to see the Greenhouse which was also very cool. So many orchids! Doing way better than my orchids.

My mom asked the guards about the guards out front with bearskin hats and apparently it’s Grizzly bearskin and they dye the fur black. I always wondered! Because Black Bear fur is not as thick as those hats seem to be.

I got to see lots of friends and my cousin Bianca also and it was just a nice occasion. Also I got to see my Mom which was nice.

After there was a party but we were too tired so instead we went to LL Bean where I got a new winter coat and Mom got some winter fleece lined pants. But I discovered later that LL Bean didn’t take out the security tag! So blahhh I got back to Toronto and didn’t want to look for my receipt (I don’t even know if I still have it) so I wrecked a fork trying to take the security tag out of the pocket and then finally gave up and cut a small hole to remove it. I am meaning to sew the hole shut (and it’s in my pocket so it’s not visible) but we’ll see how the executive dysfunction works and if I can get to it in a timely manner before losing an airpod into the lining.

Anyway now I’m back in Toronto. I am very tired because I got up early this morning and went to boxing class for noon and I exercised real hard and now I feel all achey. I used a heating pad to try and soothe myself but I think I need to do it again. I really want to be able to go back to the gym this week too because I like lifting weights.

People were pretty good about my name and pronouns at the Governor General Awards weekend which was nice, and people who messed up apologized which was kind. I actually misgendered myself when I introduced myself to the Governor General. I said “I’m Ruth’s daught-SON!” and she was just like “Ok” and I said nice to meet her and then I think I ran off because I was hungry. Even me!

Also I got to wear a suit at the Governor General Awards and it was really interesting. I was always so sure it would be way too hot, but it was fine. I could have wore it all day but I changed when we got back to the hotel. This was the first time I wore the suit for an actual event so that was nice. I have a grey suit jacket too but not the pants. I think I’m gonna try and get the pants tho so I have two full suits. The pants in my blue suit though are too big.

Most of my clothes are too big now, since my body shape changed and I lost some weight. A lot of my shirts are 2X and I’m XL to L now. Also a lot of shirts were deliberately baggy to hide my chest and now I want my chest to be more visible as a flat and hopefully soon to be muscly chest. I spent a LOT of money when I was in the Whitney Biennial and upgraded my wardrobe, and now I have to slowly build up my wardrobe in the right size again.

I got a Toronto Art Council grant to make a video about my transition and how political trans issues have gotten recently and so hopefully that will let me get some new jeans so I have pants that fit. Tight shirts are also on the list!