I was overdrawn this morning and checked and my cheque went through for my name change. I put borrowed money in it right away thanks to my Mom and then later the bank gave me a five dollar NSF PAID fee, so it’s fine now. I am relieved! It’s been a long time since I put the package in the mail and the postal code had issues and I was starting to wonder if some stranger in Thunder Bay had my long form birth certificate and this big package instead of Vital Statistics. BUT no, they got it, it’s fine! I also heard about how any tiny error in the form could make them send it back. So I was worried about that too, like what if I wrote something wrong? I had my friend who’s a lawyer look at it and sign it before it went off, but I was still nervous. It’s fine though! I am really a Theo Jean Cuthand now. Now I have to update all my other stuff. I need to change my gender on my birth certificate too. And I was born in a different province than I live in now so it’s a whole thing to do this. And Saskatchewan doesn’t seem to have easy options to speed up sending me a new birth certificate. Which means I am cutting it close for getting my passport in time for some work in NY in a couple of months. I really hope all goes well. I need to also get my doctor to sign a form and write a letter for the gender stuff but now I think I need it in my new name so that’s all confusing. It will get sorted. It’s just that there’s stuff I need to do. I do a lot of work in the USA and I haven’t been able to travel this fall/winter after Buenos Aires when I sent in this form. SO I just want it sorted so I can do gigs there again.

BUT I see the end of this process now. I have to update my stuff all in a specific way before I can get my passport, so I’m just going to methodically go through this process and by the end of it I will have a passport and drivers license etc with my real name on it and my real gender. I think it will help me out. Like border agents won’t side eye me for being trans. Or they still could but I pass more easily now so the goal is just to go through the border without much issue. I know things like TSA will still suck cause their magic machine is gonna alert them that I don’t have a cock. I DO but it’s petite and tucked away! It’s big for my demographic but small for cis guy demographics I guess. Although I know there’s a group of micropenis-having cis men out there so I’m probably not the only one getting dinged for not having a big enough penis. I don’t know, TSA is weird. I think something not being there shouldn’t trigger a patdown. Like what are they looking for? The invisible bomb in my pants? That doesn’t make any sense!

Anyway I’m really happy my name change went through. I gotta update it with my co-op too I guess. I’m gonna spend ages looking for all the places that still have my old name. It was a cool old name, like it had a Z in it that is pretty sweet I think. But it’s not my name anymore and doesn’t fit me. And now legally it really isn’t my name anymore. I kept most of my old name, like the first two letters of my first name and then the other two names are the same except I pronounce Jean in the masculine French way. OH my therapist can finally put my whole name on my receipts! We’ve been doing TJ Cuthand for a while in case CRA doesn’t accept the receipts. But now it will be fine!

I gotta do the bank and all that too, and Indian Affairs. And I don’t know if I also have to contact my rez to change my name or if Indian Affairs will do it on their end. I feel like my rez should know though because sometimes they give us money, and I don’t know if they will generate the band list all the time based on Indian Affairs. It’s confusing. I wish it was easier to change my name with everything. Once I get my birth certificate and passport issued in my new name and gender, I will feel better and not so stressed. Those are the main ones. I can change my drivers license and health card sooner because I just need to have my name change certificate and a letter from my doctor. My drivers license was gonna need to get renewed this year anyway. And ditto for my Status Card. Status cards take months to process though, so that will be a while. But I only use it at the pharmacy, and the pharmacy can probably still use my registration number until then.

I ordered some business cards in my final name also, so now I don’t have to give out all these TJ/Deadname business cards I had. I can put it on my baggage tag too.

Also once all that is changed I can change my Aeroplan account so I can use my points for a trip. If I do this right I still might be able to have a birthday vacation this year. That would be at the end of April and I’m sure by then I will have my passport, if not sooner.

I haven’t really thought about a birthday vacation destination yet. Everything has been so up in the air. I was almost hoping my name change didn’t go through, so that I didn’t have to do all this other work to update ID. BUT now the biggest hurdle is completed, I just gotta keep going and updating all the stuff.

I am Theo Jean Cuthand!