Back to scheduled programming which is really just my life in a nutshell. Todd has been growing and learning! We’ve had three puppy classes so far, he’s getting used to being on transit and in cabs in a bag. He’s a handy bag size still, which is good because it’s convenient for me. And yes his head sticks out, I do not carry him around inside a ZIPPED bag. At some point tho he’s gonna be too big for the bag and I’ll have to just tote him around on transit on his little legs. He’s already gotten very looooooooong. Today a friend came over and he tried to eat her hair, which was pretty funny/ridiculous. I’m glad he made a friend! He also tried to hump her tho, shame shame ha ha. But it’s the first time I’ve seen him warm up that well for someone, he’s a very standoffish little pup to strangers. I guess he likes people to play with him. I’m learning new things about him all the time.

I’ve been doing well otherwise. Work is still going mostly as planned, which is nice. People have been supportive in messages to me which is always good. I’ve got some new projects cooking and also trying to finish up some older projects, or at least get them into a more developed phase. Including my VERY OVERDUE script for a new new project. I honestly think though that since it’s a film with a trans man protagonist I needed more lived experience before I could write it in a more honest way. And now I’ve been an out trans man for almost two years, so I’ve learned a lot about what that feels like. There’s been more euphoria than anything else in my experience though. I’ve been fortunate by living in a larger urban centre, and knowing a lot of other trans men who were already friends before I came out. So it’s been easier for me at this point. HOWEVER I do remember trying to come out in Saskatoon as a trans man in 2007 and how complicated it was, how difficult to access health care and also it’s just such a small place it was hard to find dates. I did go back in the closet not long after coming out that time. BUT ALSO I kept packing a dick on and off ever since then. So something was still brewing I guess.

I’m still in the middle of name change stuff. I’m waiting to get my birth certificate, they were supposed to have processed it now, but it’s not arrived in the mail yet. I hope it comes soon because I have places to be! Mostly in the USA. I have other places to be domestically, but my Aeroplan is STILL under my old name, which is frustrating. I sent them the documents a while back and they said it would be two weeks. It’s been three weeks now. So Air Canada you can go suck a lemon! Westjet changed my name in their system within 48 hours. Which is WAY more reasonable. I called the birth certificate place to find out where my birth certificate is and all they did was inform me of information already on their website. Which is not helpful. I guess it’s in the mail somewhere. Or in a pile to be mailed out. Who knows.

Posey is now on medication for her heart murmur. It’s $100 a month. Poor baby! Poor wallet! She hates pills so I’ve been sneaking them to her in a ball of cranberry and pepper Boursin. Which she loves so she always is stoked to take her pill now. I wish I’d realized this was the easiest way to pill her earlier in her life! I tried other things before without any success.

I mean she has a point tho, if someone was trying to sneak something to me, probably putting it in some Cranberry and Pepper Boursin would do it.

I took a bit of a weed pause over the last couple of weeks, but it’s gone back to regular usage. I just needed to be super clear for a week, and it did help! My resting heart rate has been elevated but it is slowly going back to my regular range. I got blood drawn at the lab the other day and it was kind of HORRIFYING because it was SOOOO thick and viscous. I was curious so I looked it up and blood gets thicker and stickier during fight or flight stress responses, because your body assumes you are being chased by a lion or attacked by someone with a knife or something, so it makes your blood easier to clot and save you from bleeding out. Okay, first of all thank you body, for evolving and adapting like that. But also WTF?!?! That can’t be good in the long term.

I mean the funny thing though is it wasn’t really me I was worried about. I was thinking about people in war zones like Gaza where that stress response has been ongoing for months. I can’t imagine what that would do to your longterm health.

Humanity can be so brutal. I have felt supported by my community recently though and I am def grateful for that, and also hopeful that my blood goes back to regular programming.