I’ve been posting images of my skeleton rig animations on Instagram and Facebook, and they don’t get much engagement but I guess that doesn’t matter. I am sure it looks boring to others. BUT ANYWAY I’m trying to have something done for a show next week, so I was trying to make it moveable. And I didn’t realize how complicated getting an animated rig to also move normally would be. It took a while, I was using an Animator that was more built for a 3d project, but it works so I guess it’s fine. I also am having the hardest time getting it to jump. It IS jumping technically, but the animation doesn’t play, and the jump itself is not very high. Like a hop. Like barely hopping. BUT the main point is that now when I walk across the room, the speed of the walking matches the speed of the animation so it looks nice and normal.

And the punching is doing well. I have to figure out how to make the hands weapons. They don’t really make fists. They just reach out like they are punching with straight hands. So probably his bones would crumble before doing damage if he was a real guy.

The running ALSO needs work! He just runs in one spot, because there’s no arrow for movement. So I need to figure out a different way to trigger the running. The walk button is built in with the movement, but I was using right shift to run and that’s not it. I will figure it out. He looks pretty funny just running in one spot though.

The jumping would be amazing if it worked.

OH YEAH anyway yeah boo on the election down south, I am not impressed but also not surprised. I don’t think the Democrats had a really distinct campaign, I mean they were already supporting a genocide, and they would still support it after the election. So that’s fairly unpopular. But also Trump is a nightmare. And I agree there would be SOME good things if the Democrats stayed in power, maybe. But also Roe v Wade was overturned while the Democrats were in power and they didn’t do a lot to fix it. So maybe it would just be slightly less worse under the Democrats. I don’t know, political systems are fucked.

MOSTLY though, I’m nervous about the looming Conservative government we are going to get here in Canada. Because I’m not looking forward to a government making policy driven on their personal icks about other humans, but that’s what they always do because it sells to their shitty base. I’m not sorry, if you’re a Conservative you’re a shitty heartless person.

ANYWAY ha ha there’s my mini rant, I don’t feel like getting more into it right now.

I am glad in hindsight that I didn’t apply to those University jobs in the States, and that I didn’t choose a bottom surgeon in the States. I would be a lot more stressed right now otherwise.

I am nervous about my friends down there though. And also worried that I will lose work in the States because my being trans is going to be criminalized. So that is shitty.

Also in some ways things I feel better about my life are things that are difficult for other trans people right now, which feels shitty too. Like, I’m glad I changed my name and gender on all my ID and have an updated passport. And now I’m seeing all these people in my trans groups scrambling to change their names and genders on ID and in their passports.

This transition has really felt to me like when Indiana Jones is rushing to get out of a temple and slides under the stone door just as it’s closing. Like, I have SPEED RUN though this transition. And maybe to the outside eye it looks fast, but I was also thinking about doing this since I was 19 so like, I lived with this potential for two and a half decades before medically transitioning. And I wish it hadn’t taken me so long. BUT ALSO I kind of know why, because there are some non-binary parts of me. Not other personalities, I only have one personality and it can be pretty sour ha ha. But no! I mean transitioning to male made me nervous about how hard it would be to be gender non-conforming as a visibly male guy. Because I still miss having painted nails, and I like wearing bright colours. And if my hair wasn’t thinning I would still be colouring it instead of shaving it. And I am pretty fruity/faggy and I don’t feel like butch-ing it up just to satisfy some straight cis guy somewhere who has to walk past me in Dollarama.

ALSO!!! A lot of those straight cis guys are on Grindr so give me a break. I can be a swishy bi trans guy leave me alone.

I am starting to think about identifying as pansexual. I was fine with bisexual, but now I’m hoping to indicate an attraction to a wider spectrum of human beings.

ALSO I guess I do have flowers on my arm and my chest, so I’m very obviously not a bro bro.

ANYWAY ha ha there’s my post after the election. I have no point. I’m doing my work a lot these days and keeping my head down and learning new things. My guitar lessons are going really well too! I’m able to play more of Wish You Were Here, every week we move further and further into the song. Now I am learning all the part up to the point with the complicated solo. So I know a lot of it, and next week we skip the solo and go into a lot of chords and strumming. So it’s been good. I don’t have the lyrics on my sheet music. But I’m not ready to play and sing at the same time. I am still failing at getting to the gym. I think I might go tomorrow. I was going to go on Thursdays but realistically I can’t squeeze the gym in on Thursdays. Tuesdays I am exhausted (plus it’s the easiest night to schedule hookups). Wednesday? What is going on Wednesdays? Nothing really but I am also overloaded with work right now. Saturdays I am free too, but if I go to the gym I work out my full body so it seems bad to go two days in a row.

OH YES but I do have some answers about my MRI! The report says I have a mild to moderate case of fatty liver, basically, and maybe something else that isn’t cancerous. So I am becoming a human foie gras! Terrible. I have to shoehorn going to the gym into my week, I guess is what I am saying. My schedule will be the same in the winter term because my class then is on Mondays also. So I need to figure out this gym time thing.