I’ve met lots of different kinds of men and enby’s from Grindr, but recently one of them turned out to be SUPER SKETCHY!

He doesn’t know anything about me or this blog, so I don’t feel bad talking about it. But anyway, a month ago or maybe two, I had a hookup with this guy who literally came over, said nothing, went to my bedroom, we had sex and he got dressed and left. BARELY said a word. I thought that was weird.

Anyway I forgot about him and recently connected with another blank profile who wanted to hookup. And he said we met before, and I mean most of the people I’ve met have been ok and I thought maybe it was this other guy, also he shared a photo which could have been someone else. But when he came over I realized it was this Quiet Guy again. And we had sex but he kept choking me, and he would stop when I made him stop. But it was still so fucking sketchy because he had this INTENSE look on his face. Like, he was thinking of deleting me I am pretty sure. He didn’t though. He finished and got dressed and left. And I feel like I should have been more afraid but I wasn’t. I like getting choked but not often and def not by a Grindr hookup who doesn’t communicate properly.

Anyway long story short I blocked him after he left, but he is one of those people that is constantly deleting and then restarting his Grindr app. Which is a questionable thing anyway. AND basically in case you hadn’t figured out, SUPER downlow. Which is a whole level of shame and resentment I don’t like or want to be involved in. But I think I will recognize the next time I talk to him, because of how he refers to himself and stuff.

What is with down low guys and why are so many of them into trans dudes?

BUT anyway, in therapy today I was talking about this guy, and how I AM realizing I want a boyfriend more than constant hookups. BUT none of my hookups are able to be elevated to boyfriend status. Which means I should probably raise my standards. And screen guys more thoroughly. A long time ago when I still dated women I made a list of things I wanted in a partner on one side of a piece of paper, and things I didn’t want on the other side. I was so fucking picky on estrogen and then getting obsessive crushes. It was messed up. BUT I do know my desires for things in a partner are changing and that old piece of paper is probably out of date. So I might do it again during winter break, when work is over and I’m healing from my revision.

I have to take a sex break after my revision anyway, so I will be introspective. Maybe.

I can’t lift heavy things for two weeks after my revision and it’s going to interfere with me using my cast iron pan for a Dutch Baby which is such a shame, I usually have that on Christmas morning.

Ah what else? A lot of work stuff is coming up. I’ve gotten further on my video game though, he’s fully mobile, so now I have to make some stuff for him to interact with. I need to make a rat run around.