My reserve voted yesterday on our Cows and Plows settlement, and the vote was a yes, so I am getting a chunk of money that will pay off my debt and give me enough leftover to go on a vacation to Barcelona and buy a new wardrobe. Or like, several new clothes anyway, that would fit my body better. But mostly I am excited to have a chance to start back with 0 from my debt instead of being all the way where I am now. I’m paying so much interest on my visa and I just want to pay the whole thing and then call and lower my limit so I don’t get in such debt again. And I will eventually be able to pay off old tax debt, because the payment comes in two parts. So after those two things are paid, I will go to Barcelona.

I don’t know why Barcelona. Spain seems to be progressive right now. And it’s very gay. And more sunny I hope. PLUS I have never been there before.

I’m sick right now, I have some kind of weird virus. Between my tailbone injury and now this cold/flu/whatever, I feel very much house bound and bored. I canceled class on Monday because I don’t think I can physically travel like this. Plus germs.

Anyway, sometimes things will be fine and then I just get REALLY TIRED. And need a nap. It’s exhausting being sick.

I’m trying to figure out what to do with my personal diaries. There’s like, years and years of them. I was keeping a doc file for them for a while, but with AI coming into Word, I want to do diaries offline again. So I am going back to a paper journal for the private thoughts. I have so much writing I don’t want to lose, but honestly my diaries are super boring and usually just me processing whatever crush I was having at the time. And then I guess the last while since I transitioned is like, hook up stories. Like I am not sure who wants to read that.

I’m Tired of the Fascism happening out here. I know most of it I am a bystander for right now, what with being in Canada. But there’s creeps here too who are threatened by my existence and others like me. I dunno it’s so ridiculous, to be concerned with what someone does with their own body. Do we have to get tattoos pre-Approved by the church too? Where does it end? Do I need to have hair of a certain length? Do I need to wear dresses? Are you going to make laws around clothing? The thing is I am old enough to hear stories from people who had those kinds of laws in their lifetime. We’re just going backwards. But it’s going to destroy so much development as a society, we’re going to lose so much knowledge about medicine and science, and art is going to disappear, or not get made. It’s frustrating to see it all unfold. I see even worse things coming, like a population largely under servitude and slavery. It’s so depressing and it’s not going to make the world more liveable or extend humanity for more years. It will probably ruin it and make humanity end sooner. We’re not getting off this rock. They can make all the space ships they want, but they keep blowing up when they send them off, and nothing looks massive enough to take people off the planet. Not like, a society. Just some jack off board room of genociders on their lonely space ship floating around a rock.

I think if they want to leave so bad, they should just go. None of us want them here. They make all those ships, go on then, use them and get the fuck off this planet. Exile yourselves from our beautiful home.