There’s only two more classes left of the semester. It’s amazing, wrapping up already! I need to do my last tutorial game, and then the very last class is crits of final projects. So we’ll see how that goes. I’ve enjoyed teaching but the travel is really wearing me out fast. I’m going to be happy to not have to go every week anymore.

I’m tired as hell. I didn’t take my night meds last night, and I have no idea how that happened but yeah yikes! I almost ALWAYS take them, so its kinda weird. Luckily I’m not supposed to be in trouble if I miss one PrEP dose. Still not a great idea.

I’ve been working super hard lately. OH MAN. Just so much constantly on the go. And also there’s like, ideas going through my head about my film.

I discovered the last time I went to London on the train that I could see locations on the way. And there were all these different kinds of warehouses with trailers and shipping containers and junk yards and storage spaces and I was thinking about where this one major scene is in my feature and realizing watching things go by might be the best thing to reformulate how I am going to write this narrative. So I go back on Saturday instead of Sunday this weekend, and I’m going to look out the window and try to think about spaces and events and how they would fit.

I’m exhausted by this constant threat next door also, the Americans. In Canada people are starting to worry about being invaded. Not everyone, some people think it will never happen. However I know enough about Canadian history to know that it’s not unheard of to have battlefields in Canada and surrounding areas. My Great Great Grandfather fought the Canadian Army in 1885, so it happens and could happen again. I mean, in a different way. I know I’m way too old to be in the army, and would suck as a soldier anyway. But I think there’s still other ways to resist. But you can’t talk about that online or the billionaire AI’s will eat it and give the oligarch’s your info.

In reality, I am having a big issue with my presence on the internet. I know this blog reveals a bunch of stuff about me. BUT ALSO I need it for work and a creative outlet. I make no money off this writing, I have no advertising on this website, it’s just a corner of the internet I blab at and sometimes people read it I guess. I tried to make it a more professional website a long time ago and I’m just not that person. I’m not profesh!

I do write articles though, like I do professional writing, just not here. Here’s more like a diary.

The dogs are fine. They are sleeping right now. I have to head to my guitar lesson soon. I practiced for 40 minutes today and I got really good. I figured out how to do this one part of a fingerpicking tune that had stumped me. I had one finger at Fret 2 on the A string, and one finger on fret 5 of the high E string. And my hand was the most awkward position and I’ve been having trouble forever. So I set up my camera and made a video that was supposed to show how I can’t get this part. And then I got it. I was surprised. My hand stretches out to a really awkward degree, and I just assumed my hand was too small to do this. But it was fine! Amazing!

I think I need to replace the high E string. It’s got a medium gauge string on it and the others are all extra light. And I’ve noticed the high E is hard for me to press on so maybe extra light would be better. They should all match anyway.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this guitar training. Like, most people want to be in a band. But I still want to keep learning before I take that step I guess. I can do chords well. Things I’m learning now are more specific skills. I know how to do hammer ons, pull offs, finger picking, regular strumming, picking. I need to work on my strumming though because I use my whole forearm and I really should just use my wrist. It takes more energy to do the whole forearm and tires me out. And ideally I would be able to play more than one song at a time and do a few in a row. I’m starting to realize I need a stronger pick. I’ve been using real flimsy ones because it was easier to do upstrums with them. But now I want something a bit thicker.

I’m at a nice spot in my guitar journey to know how to make parts of songs that sound good. Like, I haven’t put it all together in a whole song yet. But I know parts of a lot of songs, and they tend to repeat. I am learning Zombie and it’s so easy, but I haven’t played through the song entirely yet. I got the tabs and printed them out. It would be nice to learn more guitar solos.

But yeah I actually don’t know what I want to be as a musician. Like, I guess everyone wants to be in a band maybe? I don’t know. I really am just doing it for me and my own enjoyment. Also it’s helping me deepen my understanding of music, which I think as another time based medium helps me deepen my understanding of film and emotional tones. Also it’s helping me connect to my emotions more I suppose. Which is something I wanted. I’m still so conscious of playing in front of someone.

I am thinking about taking singing lessons. I just want to learn enough not to hate my voice when I sing along.