I did a talk with Wanda Nanibush yesterday for the closing of my show that she curated. It was fun, it’s nice getting asked questions by someone who knows so much about my work, I think she asked really awesome questions. And we got a good crowd, it ended up being on zoom because there was supposed to maybe be freezing rain. But also it got recorded, so hopefully people can see it later. Not everyone was able to get in to see it live.

I’m going to London today for class tomorrow. The last class! They are doing crits and showing us their games, so it should be fun. I didn’t have to come up with a tutorial for the first time, so that was a relief. If I ever teach game design again (which would be nice) I now have a semester’s worth of exercises to teach how to use Unity. I kind of wish I knew another game engine though. And sometimes I think about learning how to do a 3D game but I don’t make 3D assets and I like drawing my ridiculous guys and gals and pink rabbits and hawks ha ha.

ALSO omg, so the festival I am showing Dreams of Sunlight Through Trees at is the European Media Art Festival in Osnabrück Germany. I am flying to Amsterdam to get there, then hopping on a train, then coming back to Amsterdam after and enjoying my life to the max. I’ll be in Osnabrück for my birthday and my film actually screens ON my birthday at 11:00am. So I will get my screening over with early in the day and be able to relax for the rest of the day and enjoy turning a higher number of 40-something ha ha. I’m well into late 40s after this birthday, which to me is cool because I like getting older. Someday I will hate it I guess? My therapist called me a queer elder the other day which is so funny because she is also close in age to me.

Anyway in Amsterdam (have I already told you all this?) I’m going to the Anne Frank house, and to a tulip farm, and on a cannabis cruise through the canals. And I might go to some gay sauna or something I’m not sure. I’m curious to see the Red Light District, but also I’m not sure how I would feel as a man there, especially knowing I would just be a looky loo. I dunno, it is very close to where I’m staying though. I’m also going to do some museums and check out as much as I can. I only ever go to Schiphol so finally getting out of the airport is exciting.

Last night I saw Kylie Minogue! She was amazing! My friend got too tired to go with me so I tried to find someone but it didn’t work out in time. I was thinking of going on Grindr because I know SOMEONE from Grindr would have taken me up on it. BUT ugh people go there because they are horny and I didn’t want some random guy trying to get in my pants while I’m trying to watch a show ha ha. So no Grindr date for Kylie. But it was like, deep faggotry ha ha so fucking fun! So many queer men in the audience.

I was dreading tonight because I’m screening my film at 4:00 and then I am doing the Q&A and then I am going to London at 7:45pm And I was like oh man how am I gonna get food in time? But I checked my ticket and past me was SO NICE to future me and bought me a business class ticket going both ways. So I will get to eat after all. AND I also booked the nice hotel room that has a private half bathroom. So that’s cool too, because a shared toilet sucks. Past me knew I needed a decent last work trip.

I do go to London a bit more after this, but not with as much frequency which I am excited about. I have to install my show there and also go back after Europe for the reception. And then I guess I will probably go again this summer to clean out my studio. I’m not sure what I’ll do with it in the meantime, there won’t be students around. I don’t know what summer sessions they do though.

I’ve decided to get a travel guitar, because I really want to improve on my guitar skills and I ideally want to play every day. I don’t want to put my regular guitar in carry on or cargo, I am too anxious about it getting destroyed. But a travel guitar is light and thin and can fit in the overhead bin. I’m doing good on my guitar journey, I played for over an hour and a half today and I think part of it was because I tried all the things I have been learning to see how I am doing on them all. Pretty good! I did a little recording of the very beginning of Crazy on You, I still only have the first few notes and I still don’t think it sounds like it. But it sounds like SOMETHING. It’s fingerpicking so very different than the earlier stuff I was learning. I’m doing pretty good on chords. I was able to barre the two notes in the F chord recently, because I have been practicing doing the B barre chord, but the B is HARD it’s almost all the strings, and my finger doesn’t like holding all that down. I’m finding it easier after my teacher showed me some tips, like changing my thumb position so my fingers can get up higher and more spread out. Anyway, I am slowly improving! I can make a few parts of songs now. I was learning What’s Up and the regular teacher showed me a different strum pattern and now it sounds like, perfect. But it is just 3 chords over and over. And one solo!

I am starting to want to learn songs to play to impress lovers ha ha. So I gotta think of a good song to sing for someone someday. ALSO I am still trying to learn how to sing AND play guitar. It’s hard! The melody of the vocals competes in my head with the tune my guitar is doing, and then I get confused. Like rubbing your tummy while patting your head. It’s hard! I also still need to work on getting my fingers to move more independently of each other.

After this class, I am also going back to my gym routine. I tried to get a beefy bicep flex in a photo recently and it was like, my arm didn’t change at all ha ha. So I gotta work on my muscles again. Plus it just makes me happy.

If you had asked me five years ago if I would be happy playing music and going to the gym all the time, I think I would have been like no I don’t even know how. Getting a personal trainer for a while was so good though, that was helpful. And then having these guitar teachers has also been so good. I love learning ha ha! My favourite students are the ones who genuinely love learning new things, I think because that was the kind of student I was and I guess still am.