I was in business class on Via Rail coming back from London the other day and reading this sad story about a mini dachshund who died after being neutered because of complications with his undescended testicle and how his prostate got removed instead and his urethra. And omg I got SO SAD because Todd has to get neutered in a couple of months and he has one undescended testicle, so the same complicated thing could happen to him. I really hope not. His vet seemed confident at one of his puppy check ups that they would be able to get it out no problem. But I am still a worried dog dad.

Not to mention I am wading through all the paperwork for my own bottom surgery which will add nuts to my body and make my dick not tethered down, and I know there might be complications like with any surgery. But actually, even though it’s a bit scary for me, I have less concern with my own surgery than with Todd’s. I don’t know why I’m more worried about him. Maybe because if something goes wrong for him he could die, whereas I might just end up rejecting a testicle implant or something. Which is concerning but like, I would live. Or even if I lost sensation, I would at least still be alive. But Todd is just a little guy and I’m the one in charge of him and keeping him safe. I guess my surgery could go sideways and I could get sepsis and die. But that’s unlikely.

Anyway, Todd is getting too humpy in his adolescence and starting to be more aggressive so he DOES need to get neutered. Plus it will be easier to board him in a kennel if he’s fixed, and his license will be cheaper, and we could go back to dog classes. It will happen, I’m just going to be terrified when he goes in for his surgery. And will probably pray even tho I’m not a praying man ha ha. He also still has a baby fang that needs to get pulled while he is under, it’s super wedged into his mouth behind his adult canine. Just didn’t come out. Ha ha omg what is wrong with my dog? His baby tooth didn’t fall out and his testicles didn’t both come down, just the one. He’s holding on to stuff he doesn’t need to hold on to.

It’s a metaphor for life I guess ha ha.

I’m doing well aside from my worries about Todd. I’m still practicing my guitar almost every day. I have discovered I can practice in the mornings on Sundays too before I go to the train station. I’m not going to have access to my guitar for a lot of the next week though, since I’m away Thursday night and then Saturday until Monday. I’m finally seeing my guitar teacher for the first time next week. He seems cool, I’m not sure where we will start from. I can’t read music, I’m not great with tabs but I kind of get the concept, I know maybe three chords. I can play Hit Me With Your Best Shot, Smells Like Teen Spirit, Take a Walk on the Wild Side, that one line from Born In The USA, Wild Thing, the Mission Impossible Theme sort of. I need way more practice though. I learned the pentatonic scale today and I think I know the G scale too. I know how to do spider walks, but when I’ve seen youtube videos of them it seems everyone does them differently and I’m not sure which is the best way to do them. I have small hands so doing chords across three frets is hard for me, so I am hoping a teacher will show me how to be able to hold those chords properly. I sometimes wonder if I should have gotten a smaller guitar, but also I love my Martin Dreadnought and it’s the same style of guitar (not the same version tho) that was used on one of the songs I want to learn for Personal Reasons. And it’s pretty. And it makes me happy. I must be holding it better because my back pain has eased up and I really think it was linked to poor form and posture.

My back felt so messed up for a while that I thought I was like one of those people attacked by the secret weapon in Third Body Problem where they get cut into pieces with mysterious beams. I was sure my head and shoulders was just gonna fall off at some point. But I guess it was just the way I was holding my guitar, because I watched a youtube video that was more instructive on how to sit with it and since then my back pain has eased up a lot.

I also worked with the metronome more to learn timing, because mine is messed up. PLUS sometimes without the metronome, I find I try to hurry things up and then my hands get sloppy and I hit wrong notes.

Anyway, tomorrow I go back to London for an artist talk. Then I come home on Friday, have a hookup with a new hottie, and Saturday I go to Ottawa to do an artist walk through at this show I am in. So that will be nice, I’m so tired. I have to do a quick powerpoint tonight of some images I want to show for my artist talk tomorrow. I’ve been making PowerPoints for class and it’s been a lot. But I am more familiar with how to do them now so that’s cool. Anyway I also have to pack my bag for leaving early tomorrow morning. My train is at 11:30am. I guess that’s not SO early. I think it’s the train back the next morning that is early.

Ahhh artist talk! I could do the PowerPoint on the train, but that is cutting it too close!