Category Archives: News

Zero tolerance for the boring and stupid

******Seriously dudes, this is normal for me. I keep having people run up and be like “What is wrong with you!” And honestly, I’m perfectly fine. I was fucked up for four years, but people assumed that was normal. Pretty fucking sick that. Anyway, introversion is NOT the same as shyness or being scared, it’s just a natural process in doing intensive creative work. But obviously what I say doesn’t matter to a lot of people, so here’s a globe and mail article.*******

Zero tolerance for the boring and stupid
TV on the Radio front man Tunde Adebimpe says to really create you must spend a lot of time alone — and behave like you’re 15

SIMONA RABINOVITCH

Special to The Globe and Mail

MONTREAL — TV on the Radio’s Tunde Adebimpe sits in the venue dressing room hours before these next-big-thing Brooklyn art-rockers hit the Montreal stage. Wearing jeans and oversized tortoiseshell glasses, wrapped in a hooded sweatshirt, he comes across as unpretentious, genuine and secret-weapon charismatic. Meet the front man of a musically undefined band making it on its own creative terms.

“The older I get, my tolerance level for things that are boring or cruel or stupid just goes down more and more and more,” the 32-year old says. “Any sort of lifestyle that will surpass that is what I’m aiming for.”

So far, so good. Music authority Spin magazine pronounced TVOTR’s second full-length disc, Return to Cookie Mountain, as album of the year for 2006. Fan David Bowie makes a cameo. The band also made headlines with the Internet release of Dry Drunk Emperor, a song protesting the governmental response to hurricane Katrina.

For TV on the Radio, imagination rules and all forms of self-expression, political and personal, are connected and essential to growth. In fact, Adebimpe told Spin that Return to Cookie Mountain was “about change through imagination put into action.”
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Like his bandmates, Nigerian-born Adebimpe is committed to producing and consuming art in various incarnations. He moonlights as an actor, visual artist and stop-motion animator trained at New York University. (He directed the Pin music video for fellow Brooklynites the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and once worked as an animator on MTV’s Celebrity Deathmatch.) “There are some things that the only way to confront them, for me, is by making something, whether it’s on a piece of paper, or in song form. You go through something and you get to document it,” says Adebimpe, his long, caterpillar-like fingers gesturing to a sketchbook on the table. He grins. “I doodle all the time.”

TV on the Radio was born around 2001 when Adebimpe, broke and living in a Brooklyn loft, met struggling producer David Sitek, also a painter, blogger, and photographer. (Sitek now produces for TVOTR and bands such as Massive Attack, Liars and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.) The duo experimented with four-track recordings and performing in local bars, doing weird stuff like handing out instruments to the audience and beatboxing — the latter of which they still do, and well. They eventually recruited guitarist and songwriter Kyp Malone (who also acts and takes photographs), then drummer Jaleel Bunton and bassist Gerard Smith, a former flamenco-guitar busker on the New York subway.

With two film projects and a book of paintings in the works, Adebimpe says that different art forms stimulate different insecurities. “When I make paintings and comics, I’m a lot less worried about if anyone gets it. With music, especially with lyrics, you find yourself looking at words on paper that might be touchstones for you but could be completely meaningless to somebody else.”

He chuckles. “I’d like to test that theory, like completely and totally, by just writing and not worrying about it. I know what the fear is with that, too; it could just be total gibberish, but then, gibberish is . . . well, I’ve definitely been moved by things that later someone told me, ‘Nah, it’s just words; I was just rhyming.’ ” The real question is, how can someone so analytical and self-aware maintain such a direct connection to the figurative playground that art comes from? Damned if Adebimpe knows. But he’s learned it has something to do with perspective; with seeing the world with a sense of wonder.

“Most people I’ve really admired have told me that the way they respond to the world emotionally probably hasn’t changed since they were about 15.”

Solitude is another necessity. “Even when I’m doing a million things, I have to take that time to just, honestly, do nothing. To lie on your back and think about things — and then turn them into something else.”

This theory was recently validated when he saw director David Lynch speak in a bookstore. “He said something so simple, but it was great to hear someone whose stuff you like so much say it; that the creative life requires a lot of being alone, and even if you’re not calling it a creative life, if you’re a person who needs to be alone so you can function on a daily basis, so you can process things. That’s the hardest thing to get people who are close to you to understand.”

Has Adebimpe experienced that personally? “Yeah, totally,” he says with a laugh. “I can show you the crash-and-burn marks from about four different times when it was like, ‘I love you, but I guess I love the potential me more than I love your idea of how we should be a two-headed beast.’ “

On stage, this beast has five heads. Flanked by Malone and Sitek (who is stone-faced behind horn-rimmed glasses, wind chimes dangling from his guitar), Adebimpe is dancing it up free and uninhibited, lost in the storm of music and noise. A few songs in, the guys are drenched in sweat and wipe it off with locker-room towels. Grinning, Adebimpe swings a towel over his head and tosses it into the screaming crowd: part camp, part charisma, all rock ‘n’ roll.

Don’t you want to live forever?

I’ve been trying to remember myself by listening to some of the music we listened to as teenagers. There was some really amazing music then. Smashing Pumpkins, Nirvana, Hole, Bram Stoker’s Dracula Soundtrack, various others. And there was also an explosion of art being made about Vampires.

I don’t know if everyone got into it, but I know various people in town here went way into the Vampire thing. I used to go to a club where you could always see vampires walking around and doing . . . stuff. That was a wicked club. They ended up closing because it didn’t make enough money on the liquor license because people were doing . . . other things.

It’s probably one of my most closely guarded secrets, that I totally immersed myself in a vampire community. I read the entire Vampire Chronicles, watched Dracula over and over, went to sleep listening to the soundtrack, latched on to all the music from Vampire points of view. It probably sounds really dark, but it was liberating. Because it was about people who really did live forever. And that was an amazing concept to play with, because it made things much more serious. Plus they were sexy and smart and fought and loved and were of all orientations and genders, which was maybe the most exciting part about it. Finally a movement about even same sex lovers who live forever. And this idea of remaining static in chronological age, even while centuries passed. Plus I think everyone who was drawn to it felt rejected by society in some way, even though maybe we had figured out how to play it really well. It incorporated almost every religion too, it was just this huge thing.

I don’t know where all the vampires went, they kind of all scattered. I don’t know when that started. I do know I found someone in high school and we ended up torturing each other because we couldn’t handle not being able to read each other’s minds. Plus I think it was just scary, it was the early nineties and I was in love with a girl in a rinky dink high school filled with vampires for some unknown reason. I remember the english teacher used to make her read the part of Lady Macbeth over and over and I was always like, “Yay, she’s Lady Macbeth again!” I think she got annoyed though. Because Lady Macbeth ends up with OCD, that’s so sad.

Anyway, yeah, I had a pretty gothic adolescence because the sunny happy side were all these fucked up judgemental gits who didn’t even know what the music was about. I mean you have to realize that there was that shallow side too, which is mostly what we had to deal with. So instead of pretending to be shallow we all got really dark and considered the possibility of immortal love.

And Kurt got shot. I didn’t think it would affect me as much as it did. But I knew it was kind of a turning point, we weren’t going to be allowed to think so deeply on the nature of existence. Since then everything skidded to Paris Hilton instead of Anne Rice. And then the things we loved about life back then went back to being evil and godless, and marriage was reserved for people who didn’t care if it only lasted 16 hours. And suddenly kids were “emo” which from what I can gather is the unusual occurance of someone actually having emotions. Why do people hate emo kids anyway? They’re probably gifted, most of them, if they’re attracted to emotional music and so on. Oh right, geniuses are crazy people now.

What happened? The geniuses became the crazy people, everything slowed down so much until it was only vacuous passion. And then our relationships stopped being allowed to be about love at all.

I’ve never not been in love during this lifetime, or many others. I’ve been in a really long argument, but I never knew what it felt like to not deeply love someone in particular. I find it funny that most people only consider marriage for limited time periods. I’m not against divorce, I just honestly don’t think I ever would divorce someone I loved that much. Even if she was driving me crazy. I think my history is way too deep and complex to ever be able to walk away from it. I tried and it made me a bitter person. I don’t think anyone has ever known how crazy in love I have been forever basically. Because people judge it. And I’m tired of people judging us. I would leave forever to stop being judged for love.

And I’ve been thinking seriously about marriage, because it is finally legal for me to get married. And I realized that to ever get to that point I had to work through something intensely huge.

I didn’t even bother trying to find her again until I started realizing I was dying. I didn’t know what to do, everyone kept telling me to keep taking those pills, and I just started getting sicker and sicker. But nobody noticed. And then I had a dream about her and I kissing, and I knew I had to find her. She was the first person I ever kissed actually. I mean, I was a serious little dudelette around love, I didn’t want it to be with just anyone. I don’t think I really knew what to do after we met again, because I was so sick, physically, and I could barely think, and I was all messed up. I didn’t know how to even start talking about us, because I didn’t even know how to talk about me anymore. Plus I didn’t want to seem flippant about her again, I really didn’t want to seem like a player. And also all of my feelings were too damn complex to just put in a hallmark card. I think in high school we furtively passed each other poems or music because it was all too bizarre otherwise. And she was really sweet when she laughed, because it was hard to make her laugh, you had to be ridiculously clever for it to work or else she was just laughing at you, which could be cute sometimes too. I knew she was ridiculously smart but she was so quiet sometimes, it was intense. And I would just turn and feel her staring at me and I had no idea who she was. And that really drove me crazy, because I couldn’t ever know for sure what she was thinking about.

I think the reason it went wrong is because I wanted a forever and we hadn’t gotten to that point yet, and besides, NOBODY around us thought about what eternity means. And especially not when it’s two girls. I think I seriously thought I was just an experiment, and that didn’t make any sense because she didn’t seem flighty enough for an experimental kind of la di da girl. Anyway, yes, it was a sad falling out between people who didn’t know how to start talking to each other. From grade nine through to grade twelve I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. And then she left me for Jesus.

No, not really, but it’s a funny twist. She ran off to marry some guy and I was left being all sweary about Jesus. And then I have no idea what happened to her until way later when I realized we were still kind of messed up teenagers in a way with no way of processing what happened.

She hates processing though, which is kind of good because honestly I can get trapped in processing forever.

It’s funny, so many terrible things went down between us but that’s not what terrifies me, what terrifies me is the idea I might never love someone as much again. Some people can walk away from that kind of thing, but I don’t think I can. And I don’t think I can ever let go of the concept of eternity either. It’s far too delicious. There are so many things I want to do that I can never fit into a single lifetime.

I don’t think that kind of concept of love really exists anymore, the idea of forever. People have settled for having five long term relationships in their whole life. I don’t want just a few years with someone, I can’t do less than forever.

I can’t believe in the End, because to me some things are just beginning.

1980


1980
Originally uploaded by fit of pique.

This is me catching up on the news. I pretty much wore headphones my whole life. I’m listening to the Doors here. I also got into the Eurythmics not very long after. I think my mom was really confused by some of the things I did. I’d be singing “Love is a stranger in an open car” and my mum would be like “You can’t get into a car with a stranger!” And I’d be like, “oh I know, silly”, and then launch into a rendition of Sweet Dreams. Once I took a cd to school and found out it was completely age inappropriate, which was disappointing because the age appropriate music was boring. When Girls Just Want to Have Fun came out I think my mom was relieved because then she could channel me towards something more utopian feminist than BDSM roleplay romance.

But I have to say, Disney movies can be so boring, do you think women really just wait and wait and wait. No way man.

I used to write zen poetry as a child but nobody really got it. So I gave up, it was too damned symbolic. All about birds and reflections and the short and tragic life of a water bug.

An Assignment

They say that life is really a school, so let’s go back to the beginning. You have until June 6 2012 to rewrite the end of the world, in whatever form you want, according to things you’ve noticed in this lifetime (or others if you remember them). It can be as long or short as you want, with as many plot twists and devices you like. You can look in any form of communication available and read as much history as you want. You can rewrite your own history free of any mistakes you noticed. Afterwards you’ll be graded on the new improved story of your life. You can move on to any level afterwards and describe it as well. I’m just curious to see how things could be different, because I only know how things could be different for me. I will not be marking anything. Someone else will do that.

Oh now come on!

Of all the role play scenarios in the world to eavesdrop on, why did you pick an interpretation of Revelations role play? Why not something simpler, like Alice in Wonderland? Or even more basic, like the lives of amoebas? Revelations just too ridiculously complex because it’s based on someone’s long complicated conversation with someone else about something deeply personal.

Why not try chess? Chess is a good starter. Or just having a conversation about something more than what Britney did to her hair or what could have pushed Anna Nicole Smith so far. Or maybe you should talk about that, because they have their own deep stories that no one’s scratched the surface of yet. Or maybe just work your ways through how fear has taken you certain places. Or ask why there are some things you don’t want to understand. Because right now you’ve been polarized for four years, doesn’t it suck! That is such a sucky feeling.

You dudes need serious aftercare man.

From Wikipedia:

In the context of the sexual practice of BDSM, aftercare is the process of attending to an s-type (submissive, slave, bottom, etc) after intense activities of a physical, and/or psychological nature relating to BDSM activities. Aftercare goes above and beyond any possible necessity to treat and/or clean wounds (contusions, abrasions, punctures, lacerations, etc) from bloodplay or other BDSM practices[citation needed]. Though of course these necessities mustn’t be overlooked.

After an intense “session”, an s-type may be incapable of, or have real difficulty, moving without assistance, or communicating their needs clearly, thus requiring another to provide for her/his care (blanket, hydration, cleanup, food, rest, etc)[citation needed]. These experiences can be (and usually are) exhausting, depleting the s-type’s internal resources (physical, mental, and/or emotional). As a result, frequently the s-type requires emotional support, comfort, reassurances, and/or physical tenderness. Along with this, he/she may experience everything from an exhilaration to traumatization (though every effort should be made to avoid the latter result, not “crossing the line” from sensory stress to actual damage and/or lingering unwanted effects to the s-type). It also includes a review or “debriefing” of the activities from experiences of both the D-type (Dominant, Master, Top, etc) and the s-type. How soon this should occur, after such a “session”, will vary, but should not be ignored, or omitted.

Submissives may report needing to be left alone or other means of processing the experience. While the desire to be left alone could stem from just needing rest, it could also result from she/he no longer feeling safe in the current environment/situation. The person in control of the event should always consider the wisdom of leaving alone a person in any state of exhaustion.

What is a safeword?

Oh no, I really do have to teach you SM manners.

A commonly ignored safeword here on earth is “No.” No means no, it’s really simple. For some reason this one syllable utterance is completely misunderstood even by people who already agreed to it’s parametres.

If you play with power then “no” gets more complicated because you say it with different degrees, but if you never told each other the safeword you start fucking up.

A bottom has a safeword AND a top has a safeword, because either party can tell when a scene starts going bad. 911 and Omega are two people’s particular safewords, and they haven’t been respected at all. And they should because they’re the stop this fucking scene right now safewords. In fact, for some reason there is a class of people for whom safewords have been completely revoked. I don’t know why, it’s a pretty dangerous way to play for anybody.

When a scene goes bad and someone keeps pushing past the safeword, you end up with a highly dangerous bottom. That’s so irresponsible. And you can end up with a dangerous top if for some reason they don’t hear someone saying the safeword. But this is something amateurs don’t get, because they don’t even understand the basic premise of no means no, the rule from which all safewords deride.

I started calling safeword four years ago but no one believed me..

Privacy

I have had little to no privacy my entire life. It is so frustrating, I’ll be doing something really weird and then someone walks in and I’m just like “Oh, I’m being weird, leave me alone.” But no one did want to leave me alone because they realized I was really weird. And then when I started falling in love I got REALLY weird, because I was like thinking of all kinds of cosmic possibilities and other people would just not get it at all. So frustrating. And especially if you happen to be a sexual minority who keeps getting spied on. Fucking hell, why do you want to know what I do in bed? What’s it to you? Isn’t the fact that I can love someone that much worth anything anymore?

So annoying. Man you guys are pervs, why do you want to know how I have sex? It’s not like many of you know how to actually apply that to real life, oh man! No one ever taught anyone any SM manners. What the hell. Now I hear topping from the bottom is frowned upon, well fucking hell, what if your top is an incompetent bloody mess who is getting everything wrong. Honestly! You can’t play with power if you’re not in love, it just looks stupid! I have met the dumbest tops in my life, so ridiculously clueless they shouldn’t even have been allowed to hold a banana peel. And then they’re always like “Oh, you’re not really a bottom.” No, I’m not an idiot is my point. You can’t skip grades! You just look like an asshole.

I’m happiest when people leave me alone; other wise, obviously, I start forming plans for world domination. When gifted teenagers tell you something like that you have to take it seriously!! It really doesn’t matter how old someone is. Everyone has a right to privacy. You don’t know why they need to be alone, maybe it isn’t because they feel fucked up, maybe it’s because everyone is fucked up towards them. And maybe I have also raised an entire generation completely conscious of hatred and bigotry.

And yet at the same time it didn’t feel that massive, I was just really into this ultra hard chess match with someone that was driving me crazy.