Mom is coming TOMORROW! We’re gonna have a cheap visit with not much eating out at restaurants, because both of us have to save money. BUT we do have tickets for ImagineNATIVE and we’re going to convocation and it’s going to be awesome.

I got my travel grant to go to Paris! 😀 So she and I are also going to Paris at the end of the month. She’s gonna fly over then the next day we go to Paris and the festival is going to billet us and we are going to try and see some things on the cheap there too.

We are going on a ghost tour of Paris on Halloween! 😀 SO AMAZING! I love ghost tours.

I have been spending money more than it is coming in, which worries me. BUT I did finish my OAC grant AND a Toronto Art Council grant application so in the new year HOPEFULLY some money comes in. Also I keep throwing a few dollars into 649 and Lotto Max, so there is a tiny slim itty bitty chance of suddenly gaining an immense amount of wealth. I think having hope is nice.

We are also traveling for a half day to the Palace of Versailles on the second day we are in Paris, which should be pretty funny. Mom wants to look behind the curtains for old poops because she says people used to duck behind curtains to poop. I once read a story about how these old ladies went to the Palace and walked around and saw all these people in period wear and remarked on it on their way out and no one was dressed like that there that day, so they think they went into some kind of time warp or something. Which sounds cool, I would be interested in that happening. Although I doubt anything that amazing will happen.

I graduate in the afternoon on the 15th, and at 6:30 that day my video screens at Tiff Bell Lightbox. So it’s going to be an exciting day!

I feel happy today, which is funny because I forgot my antidepressant this morning. I’m excited to see my mom tomorrow, and today was thanksgiving and Louis and I cooked a turkey and he made this great stuffed squash and it was all delicious and awesome. And my dogs are curled up beside me being adorable. And I am just generally happy for many reasons. So that’s a good feeling!

So I had a busy week! I gave a talk in Lila Pine’s class and showed some videos. I went to a fundraiser for MMIW. I bought a soprano ukulele that is super cute and learned 3 chords and how to play Three Little Birds. I took the dogs to the vet for their second Leptospirosis booster shot and Little Mister got some pre-anaesthetic bloodwork for his upcoming dental cleaning. Both pups were very good! Posey growled a little but she didn’t need a muzzle.

Actually Posey has been making great strides! Yesterday we went for a walk in the Necropolis and she met a friendly yorkie and they traded buttsniffs and she wasn’t grumpy about it at all. ALSO she is better around Louis and other people who come to our home! I was a bit worried about her because she had some aggression issues, but she is starting to turn around! I am having some hopes that she will turn out to be a good girl! Cause she really is such a sweetheart once she trusts someone. Just this morning she kept showing me her belly for kisses and rubs. She’s adorable.

I’ve started knitting again, after not knitting for almost two years! I didn’t need to watch a youtube tutorial to pick it up again, which is a good sign! But I’m not doing anything fancy. Just knit knit knit. No purling. I’m making scarf #2 because the first one got stolen at the Mendel Art Gallery. By some HIPSTER SCUM!

That one was blue and this one is pinK! 😀

Mom keeps teasing me that the ukulele is popularized by hipsters, but I don’t care, I really just wanted to see if I can learn an instrument. If I do get into it I may move on to an acoustic guitar, but that’s off in the future. I’m not really anticipating doing any public performances, I mostly just want to play it at home. Although there are some uke jams around town apparently, which could be fun.

I am really liking spending time at home these days. I need to get some groceries tho. I am also working on an OAC grant for the 1st. AND I have a table read coming up of 10 minutes of my script on the 30th. It’s for a showcase of work from my classmates. That and the convocation on October 15th and I will be done everything for school! No more!

I’m waiting to hear back about a travel grant I applied for to go to Paris. It’s at the end of October. I hope I hear soon! I don’t want to buy tickets until I know it’s a for sure thing.

Career wise, things are good! My new video will premiere October 15th at 6:30 before Esprit De Corps at ImagineNATIVE. I may be showing that video at another event in San Francisco. I might be going to Glasgow in 2017. I still need a producer for my feature.

What else? My dogs are great. I love my dogs and they love me. I’m not dating anyone but I don’t really care either. I think if love wants to find me it will find me. I don’t have a crush on anyone at the moment either. So that’s fine.

I’ve been walking my dog in our new favorite walking place, the Necropolis. Which apparently turns out to be the dog walkers paradise. And there are a couple mourners now and then. Maybe I will meet another dog owner there one day.

Turns out Saphris was NOT for me! I got a rash, and at first I didn’t put two and two together. And then I realized I got itchy the day after I first started taking it . . . I didn’t notice for over two weeks and by then it was bad and I had to rush to my doctor the day I left town for Saskatoon. She gave me an epipen and a prescription for my old trusty risperidone. So I went back on it and the rash went away.

Didn’t need to use the Epipen.

Saskatoon was a nice visit, I saw four friends and my Grandpa and spent lots of time with my Mom. Posey made friends with Mom’s new rescue dog Neville, they played chase a lot. He grabs ears tho, so sometimes she just wanted a break from him. I think she was sad to come home. She barked and cried a lot when we came back to the co-op. Poor dear!

My friend Erin had a lovely wedding. She had the quickest ceremony ever, I swear it took fifteen minutes! And the reception was great, out in the country.

I’m busy editing my video for ImagineNATIVE! 😀 I have some things ready for tomorrow, today was mostly converting and doing various technical things and then some basic editing. Konrad is helping me out! He’s not there tomorrow tho, it will be me on my own, but he is back on Wednesday!

Louis came over and the dogs had fun. They ended up hiding from us for a while even though I called them, until I finally brought out a hot rod, the wiener dog’s kryptonite! Two little noses poked out from under the couch!

I just spent a week on Manitoulin Island mentoring youth in making Super 8 Films. I’m so beat!
Then I came home with money in my account and called Teksavvy to get internet hooked up here (FINALLY!) and was on the phone for like, and hour and then got cut off. My calls were failing and I was getting mad at my cell provider, WIND, because they had kept cutting me off up north. ANYWAY finally I got through again and got internet booked and paid for through online banking. It took a couple of hours, the whole thing. Because I have a weird address.

And I got tenant insurance FINALLY which I was supposed to have since the 1st but no money.

ALSO I owe money at my old place and I went to pay that online but there is a hold on most of my money so I have to wait until Monday when my big direct deposit comes from Canada Council.

Canada Council’s money is late because they had a closed finances office for a while which caused a delay. So it ended up being way later than the promised three weeks. Monday my money should be in my account. It’s been so stressful. I hate money delays.

And then to have the bank put a hold on my big cheque! So annoying! BUT I have enough for now and it won’t matter on Monday anyway.

It’s my third night on Saphris. I just took it. It makes me feel stoned! I’m gonna hit the sack soon. The first night I had the worst restless legs. I googled and ativan gets rid of that, so I took that that night and last night. I’m gonna wait tonight to take another ativan in case I don’t need it. Some people say the restless legs go away after a couple nights.

I can feel it kicking in so I should probably go hit they hay!

I am writing this from the comfort of my new unit! 😀 I moved in yesterday. I used El Cheapo movers and they were SUPER GOOD! Came in right at the amount I budgeted for including their fifty dollar tip! Got everything done in about three hours, and only one thing got broken and that was due to my bad packing skills. I’ve got almost the whole apartment unpacked. There are about five boxes still left to go, but there were over 25 boxes originally, so I think it’s gone pretty well!

I LOVE my new space! 😀 It’s so sunny and beautiful and the dogs are happy and I am happy. There’s a sun porch and nice floors and I need curtains but it’s ok for now! The appliances are new so they are nice and quiet. I haven’t used the stove yet but it’s gas so that will be exciting.

There’s still some left to unpack and rearrange. BUT overall I am really happy with how things have turned out. The pups and I have gone for walks around this very big block, but we need to get a good longer route figured out.

I don’t know where the garbage, recycling, laundry, or storage is, so when the office opens again on Tuesday I have a lot of questions to ask of them. ALSO apparently tomorrow is a holiday, so it’s dubious I will get my grant money then. BUT maybe tuesday? Hope so!

I never want to move again! I want to live here forever! I have to be sure to be a good tenant so I don’t screw up! It’s in such a nice neighborhood and so close to downtown. I mean, basically it is downtown! I’m a block away from Riverdale Farm and the Necropolis and Parliament is just a short walk to get to some grocery stores. I’m disappointed in the selection at No Frills, but for basics it’s good.

And there’s a Loblaws just a short streetcar ride away.

Having all this light is amazing. I hope this place is warm in the winter. My friend Terri pointed out one thing that might make it a bit chilly, but I think I can insulate it when the time comes.

I’m kind of amazed by how much I have unpacked!

It’s day 3 of packing, with two more days to pack before the movers arrive to take my stuff to the new place. I printed out a map of where I am moving because there is a back lane they can park in that is closer to my unit. My friend Terri is going to wait around with me for the movers then drive the pups and I to the new place. I’m going to put them in their crates in the bathrooms while stuff is being moved out and in.

I’ve packed almost everything. I have a few odds and ends, and the rest of the dishes, pots and frying pans, and the food in my cupboards (there really isn’t much of that though!). I don’t have too much left to do.

I picked up a lot of garbage today. It’s looking better in here. I think I have more than enough boxes, since a lot of my clothes came in boxes and now they are leaving in garbage bags.

I’m taking some time off tomorrow afternoon to get the keys and go see my friend’s documentary at school. Also I have to pick up my new prescription tomorrow on the way home. Hopefully it’s covered, because I literally have 1.75 left to my name.

My money is still not in. It’s COMING! At some point. I’m getting nervous, especially since I found out it might take 3 weeks from when they got the form. SO LONG!

Good news is that my Indian Residential School personal credits cheque was FINALLY issued. It’s going to take a while to get though, because the admin part of the university is shut down this Friday and Monday. And then they have to mail it to me.

All in all I am getting REALLY nervous about my rent cheque not being able to come through. I’m hoping my money gets deposited on Monday. Last time I got a grant that’s when it got deposited, about two weeks after I got the notice I had received one. So that’s encouraging?

I am really tired of being poor. I get student loan money on Friday, but most of that is going to the movers, and then some is going to my metro pass and some is going to insurance and then hopefully I have some left for food. If I am lucky I might be able to call and get an appointment for my internet to get hooked up. BUT I need at least 240 before I can do that. I’m leaving town on the 8th or 9th to go up north to teach some youth how to make videos, so I really want some wifi for the dogsitter. Because I would feel bad for her if she had no internet access at my place. That makes life unbearable these days.

ALSO I will feel bad having no internet access the next while too! 🙁

All my problems have solutions I am sure, but this cash flow issue is really worrisome, because it’s just been all these delays! And I have expenses coming up!

On Thursday I did my thesis defense! 😀 And I passed! It went really well, I got asked some good questions, and they just want me to do a few minor revisions and then it’s good to be submitted! So that’s one less stress!

This weekend we did the 2 Spirit shoot! I need to shoot for another day, I am going to rent the RED Camera again and do some more. But it’s on track! The first day I had a lot of trouble saying the lines, but today went really really well! I was able to get through the main chunks and I can put edits in between. I’m going to do a shot list for the next shoot, I need three satisfied customers and maybe one clumsy person (which could also be me?? Maybe?). I’m also waiting for Mom to make the beaded whisk prop. That will take two more weeks.

I’m going out of town for a week in August, I’m making money but I’m getting nervous about having enough time to finish this project. By August 7th I need a still or two for the catalogue. I’m not totally sure what I will do, although I do have footage but it’s using a green screen so I need to put something behind it. I was hoping for some prairies, but I’m not sure about using HDV prairie footage with RED RAW footage. SO I am thinking maybe I will just scan some prairie pictures and use those. It doesn’t really need to be moving images in the background.

I also need another camera person for the next shoot, because Irene was helping me but she’s in LA in August. I am thinking maybe Charles Street Video can recommend someone. ALSO I need to get someone to drive me and my stuff. Ugh! Logistics give me a headache!

I’m so anxious too. My anxiety was through the roof this weekend, what with picking up equipment and then doing the shoot and now taking it back. AND THEN I’m gonna be packing up my suite this week and getting ready for the El Cheapo Movers on Saturday, AND Moving the pups too! So that’s a whole other stress. BUT I am hoping to get my shit in my new place and unpack most of it, come back here and clean, and then it’s smooth sailing! Sort of!

However I have had to adjust my timeline for coming back to see my family. I’m gonna go for the last weekend of August and first two weeks of September now, because I have to finish these revisions and get a bound copy of my thesis and supporting paper to Ryerson by August 31st. AND ImagineNATIVE needs a finished copy of my video by September 11th, so I am just gonna try and finish it by the end of August and hand it in then. It’s nerve wracking! :O

But really, September is still summer technically. So I will still get some nice days in Saskatoon.

GAH! This blog post is really just a list of shit I have to do! It’s kind of unglamourous. The unglamourous life of a filmmaker.

ALSO Since I am using the RED camera for the first time, I am thinking of booking the in house editor for the first day at CSV so they can show me some color correction and workflow stuff. Because I DO NOT KNOW the workflow of the RED!

Everytime I see one of those posts of like, a snake on a pile of money, or a whole bunch of canadian 100 dollar bills, or like, Buddha supposedly bringing money, I have been reposting it. Cause they promise that it will bring you money!

AND IT DID!

I got my Canada Council results yesterday, and I got my screenwriting grant! 😀 $20,000 to spend a year writing a feature screenplay called A Skunk Cousins Christmas about a First Nations family dealing with addictions at Christmas! And it’s a comedy! 😀 So that will be fun, way different from the drama I just finished writing for my thesis!

I just went down to the bank and got the direct deposit form filled out, and then went to the post office and xpress posted that form to Canada Council for the money to get deposited! It should get there Wednesday or Thursday and then hopefully get deposited early next week.

OH MY GOD! You cannot imagine the amount of relief I feel. All these things I need to do, move, pay first and last month’s rent, get the dogs to the vet, get an Ontario drivers license, pay for internet to be hooked up, etc. etc. IT’S GONNA HAPPEN! And I can go home with my pups and visit my family! 😀 We’re gonna go for the last week in August and the first week in September. And it means I will be able to go to a festival in October when hopefully my travel grant gets accepted. AND we’ll be able to stop in London on the way home to see things like the tower of London and maybe Buckingham Palace (although is that really exciting??) and stuff! Haunted tour of London!

And I can get a vacuum! 😀 For my one rug! And just live and have groceries and some financial freedom for a while. It’s so amazing! I’ve been so poor this past year! Paying too much rent, not making much income from a LOAN no less! And then the whole terrible fall of last year when I was going through the forever process of getting my student loan approved!

Things can change so fast. It’s a good thing.

I know money is a temporary thing, whether you are rich or poor, but hopefully this lasts me for the next year. I think it will if I am careful!

So I found out, 35 days later, that my IRS Personal Credits cheque STILL has not been issued. Not only that, but the 30 days to have it issued within isn’t even true! They don’t give a shit! They’re just gonna do it whenever, and they don’t have timelines for when it’s going to be done! This is so fucked up! I am considering going to the media and telling them how fucked up this process has been. I need this money within two weeks for when I move, because I need first and last months rent. But no, they aren’t going to give it to me right now. BECAUSE THEY ARE INCOMPETENT! I have been trying to get this money since January. In actual fact, I have been trying to get this money since September when school first started. I have paperwork that proves that. The whole process has been negative, and all over a small sum of 3000 dollars. I have a feeling this is actually a scam. They are scamming Residential School survivors families by promising money and then balking when it is time to pay up. There is no way this is appropriate. It should have been an open and shut process of dispensing money. Instead it is drawn out and they are using probably most of the money for administrative costs.

I am so fucking mad! Something has to be done about this! I contacted my MP but after I got approved for payment she didn’t do anything more. BECAUSE A CHEQUE SHOULD HAVE JUST GONE OUT! But no! And I know for a fact that I am not the only person suffering through this process. I know of someone else’s relative who has been waiting for two years for her money. How is this okay? This is NOT okay! I think they are just doing this because we are Native, because if we were white we sure would get our money in a more timely fashion!

In short FUCK YOU CRAWFORD CLASS ACTION SERVICES! You are incompetent and mismanaging funds!

Today I woke up early and waited around and actually missed the phone call from the co-op, but I got the place! 😀
Now I have to arrange internet service, book movers, pack my stuff, set up gas and electricity service, and get tenant insurance. WHEW! SO much stuff!
I’m excited! And I also found out Just Dandy got into the Paris Lesbian and Feminist Film Festival. So I’m going to try and get a travel grant to go. I think it would be awesome. And I can take someone with me as my mental health assistant! Yay!

I am still waiting on Personal Credits to be deposited and for grant results. Why is it taking so long? Cry cry cry.
Ah, that’s about all I have to mention today. Good news! Stressful, but good! And the landlady here is ok with me breaking the lease on September 1st (even tho I am leaving August 1st actually). So that’s a relief.
BIG CHANGES!