So I need to talk about something, because writing here is how I work through things I am having issues with.  It looks like I am not gonna get my webseries shot before I leave Saskatoon.  I have a month and a half left and I still need to do rewrites and things have really pushed back my schedule, including all the work in the spring getting Mom’s house ready to sell, and also not having my laptop for a week or whatever kicked my ass, and basically I think I can finish the rewrites for the end of July, but I am not gonna have time to cast and rehearse and shoot my video before I move.

Which leaves me with doing it in Ontario.  Which is further complicated by the fact that I will also be in school until next September doing a full time courseload.  IF SAB was ok with me turning it into my grad project that would be ok, BUT I don’t know if that is ok.

I know it will get done, but it might not get done within the original time frame.  It might not even get done this year.  I’m pretty disappointed, but I also don’t want to fuck it up by rushing it.

Anyway, if my friends reading this have ever had issues with projects not getting done on time, let me know what you did.  Cause I totally have to re-envision this project to complete it.

So just now I finished booking my move with Vega Line, who are gonna do a better job than those pod/portable storage options for less money and with door to door service!  ALSO they can keep my stuff in their storage when it gets to Toronto until Sept 1 when I will FOR SURE have a place.  I hope! So I am pretty happy, and they have been totally amazing to deal with so far! And they came with a good recommendation from a friend, so I feel good about them.

We took the pups for a walk today, while some people came to see the house. Posey is terrible on a leash, but she’s a puppy still so she has learning to do.  Little Mister is impeccable! Hermione was slower than the others.

I didn’t get much sleep last night, I was too excited!  It’s happening so SOON!

I’ve got my plane ticket to Toronto, and paid for the two dogs to go in cargo on my flight.  I’m not too worried about Little Mister, because he likes being in his crate, but Posey gets motion sickness or anxiety or something when she’s in a car and barfs and drools.  So she might have a rough time.  Mostly I’m worried she’ll get dehydrated.  Good thing it’s a short flight. I’m gonna put their thundershirts on them.

So basically now all I have to do is finish my writing, do my performance, do the webseries stuff, and then head out!

Also find a place to live.  It’s worrying me.  I’m checking Kijiji ads and the off campus housing listings. Also I put a note on Homes For Queers Toronto on FB. I’m going to be making some calls on Monday too, to people who help folks find housing. So I am doing everything I can.  My cousin can’t afford to find a place with me because her hours got cut, which is too bad!  So it’s back to living with strangers or in a cheap bachelor.

I forgot to update you on two things.  One, the movers.  I was gonna go with Storage Vault, BUT it took them a week to come up with a quote, with me calling and waiting and ugh!  And finally when they did give me a quote, it was for $3000 dollars!  WHAT??? That’s more than a new Macbook Pro!  So a friend gave me the name of these cross country movers, Vega Line, and within 12 hours they gave me a rough estimate of $875, with door to door service, and basically a whole better deal.  It might be more once they get everything weighed, but it won’t be a lot more.

ALSO my lappy is back! They adjusted some settings and after it didn’t act up for two days they said I could come get it, 43 bucks!  Such a relief, especially since I was worried I would have to pay 800 to replace the logic board or something. YAY!

At the most I could wait until Sept 1st, BUT I am hoping I can find a place for August 15th! Because that’s when Posey, Little Mister, and I get to Toronto!

It’s so soon!

I finished my fifth shift at the Jazzfest today and found someone to take my Sunday night shift.  So I am DONE! Whew! Made some cash! Breathed in a lot of a poplar fuzzies.  I got a nose bleed near the end of my shift and had to quit and go sit in the back with a kleenex on my nose.  I think because Steven showed up trying to get a beer for two bucks and pissed me off, because it is SO TYPICAL!

Anyway, I am really tired.  Some assholes wanted to come look at the house today at 9am and we negotiated for 9:30 and they showed up at 8:44am!  FUCKING ASSHOLES! So we took the dogs for a walk and left used pee pads on the floors, cause if you arrive that early for a viewing don’t expect a clean house.  Fuckers.  I don’t give a shit if they want to buy the house, don’t pull shit like that!

Sweary paragraph!

I think I am getting a new old crush. Ha ha, fricken hell I keep recycling crushes.  But this one was silly way back then and it is still a little bit silly, ALTHOUGH at least it is on someone single.  And who is nice.  And a friend.  BUT I doubt I will do anything about it.  I’m actually not even sure it’s a full blown crush, it’s more mulling something over in my mind and wondering if it is a good idea.  Because I have been known to have absolutely TERRIBLE ideas when it comes to women.

I was talking with Mom about my terrible taste in women and then she said this thing that totally cleared something up for me.  I was saying something about how terrible it was to be hung up on Rheanne for so long and then she said “Oh, it’s just that you loved her way more than she felt for you.”  And I thought that was so sweet because really that’s what happened.  I was totally head over heels for her and she didn’t care for me!  Did not give a shit.  And it totally sucked.  But whatever, it’s over now, she has a new boyfriend, I am leaving and not in love with her anymore.  Things are good.

I’m moving somewhere where I haven’t dated anyone.  Well that’s not really true, I dated Ivana, but she moved to Vancouver anyway and isn’t there now.  OOOOOOOH! But Margaret lives in Hamilton and comes to Toronto all the time and she and I have a history.  A tumultuous history which has left us being good friends though.  She’s so cute.  Our dating history was ridiculous.  And now she’s got a family.  She’s always been a good friend though, I used to sleep over when I had super dark suicidal nights and we would just hang out and cuddle.  That was really sweet.  I’m glad I am moving closer to her FINALLY!

I’m nervous about finding housing.  I think I need roommates and people are weird about dogs.  It seems a lot of people are allergic.  They are cutie dogs though.

I love my little kids!  The weens!

I went for a ride with my friend tonight at got back around12:30am.  I was worried about the weirdo neighbors dog, because I thought I heard it whining in their front yard, and it’s a baby dachshund and it would be totally within the realm of possibility for them to leave it in the front all night, because they are just that clueless.  So I crept over to peek, and was relieved that it wasn’t there.  Because if it WAS there, I was gonna steal it for the night.  I’m not gonna let a puppy get eaten by a suburban coyote just so I could be cool with the neighbors I don’t like!

Two days of work done!  Four days left!  Three actually, then a break for a day and then one last day.  MAKING MONEY!

The movers are still trying to get a quote from the truckers.  Neuralnet is still doing diagnostics to find out what is the matter with Lappy.  So I am still in the dark about how much money all of this is going to cost me.

I keep calling, but it’s really not making anything go faster. So I hope they just call me back tomorrow about things. And then I can make decisions and budget.

I finally learned what Bae means, it’s Babe without the second b. I thought it meant Boo, and it kind of does but also I don’t actually know what Boo means.  Maybe it comes from Sweet Baboo? Peanuts?  Eh?

Whatever, I haven’t had the opportunity to use this newfangled lingo.

Tomorrow I am going to Lauryn Hill.  And the day after I am going to Teagan and Sara.

It’s almost a month and a half before I leave.  Woah man!  SO SOON!

I don’t have much to report. I was at work all day. Then a long bus ride home. Now I am almost ready for bed. BEDTIME comes so soon when you work all day!

I lost my headphones.  I don’t remember the last time I used them.  Yesterday? I hope I find them, they are pricey!

I really really need my laptop back.

So anyway, I am trying to visit Grandma and Grandpa almost every day for the next while.  Partly just because I love them and won’t see them much when I leave, but also because Grandma’s status has moved into a more palliative care situation and I don’t want to miss out on being around her.

So we saw them today. Grandma and I lay on her bed and chatted about things. Grandpa and I watched the World Cup and ate chocolate, and Mom showed off the toe she dropped a plate on which is all bruisey.

It’s really unclear how much time she has left.  It could be a month.  It could be days.  Nobody knows.  AND since we thought she was dying in January, it could be another false alarm.

One thing I know is that if I am away and she dies, I should call Westjet for a plane ticket instead of Air Canada, because a friend of mine called Air Canada for the bereaved fare and they implied she was lying about her dead Kokum.  THAT’s SO RUDE!

What else?  Ah, basic rundown of Things I Need To Do: Finish rewriting short story.  Finish rewriting scripts. Write Monologue AND Practice before the end of July. Book portable storage and moving thingy. Start packing. Cast video.  Shoot video. UGH! What else?  Do this week of work. Do some more taxes. Save lots of money.

FUN things I am doing this next week include going to the Lauryn Hill concert with Shar and the Tegan and Sara concert with Deanna! 🙂 AND that’s about it.  Lot of work, with some fun times.

Mom is coming to Toronto in October.  YAY! I will get to take her to my new favourite places and introduce her to my friends and the pups will get to see their Grandma!  They love their Grandma.  She’s going to teach her class from Toronto for that week because it’s an online course.  I hope my computer is fixed by then!

I have nothing else to report.  I wrote twice today, that’s enough.

I am writing this on my Mom’s computer.  Lappy is still in the shop, and they still don’t know what’s wrong with it. I did some more digging online and it COULD be a display issue, so I am hoping that is all that is wrong and it isn’t like, the logic board.  Which would really really SUCK!

My cousin invited me to move earlier, starting August 1. But I think I need to stay here at the beginning of August to tie up loose ends.  For instance, I haven’t confirmed it yet but I have tentatively booked my Portable Storage PUPS thing for the second week of August.

I feel really in between right now. I’m not a permanent resident here anymore, but I’m also not yet in Toronto. And I already switched my OKC location to Toronto, and my Fetlife profile, but I can only look at profiles and I can’t really make dates yet.  Disappointing.

Also I bought my plane ticket to go to Toronto direct with my pups.  We leave at 5:35 am on August 15th.  SO EARLY! BUT it is a direct flight and will get us there at the right time. Poor pups! I hope they are okay in the cargo hold. Westjet doesn’t recommend tranquilizing animals for the flight, so they are gonna be in their thundershirts.  Theresa told me once she heard her dog bark all the way on a flight she was on.  Poor pup!

We’re looking for a place for August 15th, but if we have to wait until Sept 1 I think I will be okay. What I’m really disappointed about is that I’m STILL gonna miss the Tori Amos concert, and she’s like, my hero, and I have NEVER been able to see her in concert.  BUT also she will probably do a tour again next year and then I will get to see her.

I’m relieved I finally have a real time to go to Toronto, that my ticket has been booked and my pups are booked in Cargo. Because only a few dogs are allowed on each flight. Yay for Westjet! Also they treat dogs better than Air Canada, so I have heard. It’s always a little dodgy, but I really hope my dogs are safe.

The amount of work I have to do before I leave is starting to lessen, YET it would still be easier if I could get my damned lappy back. Especially because it is all writing work I have to do.  I’ve got hard copies and copies in my email, but I’d rather work on it with my computer.

And through all of this, we are still selling the house. So we have viewings now and then. Yesterday we had two viewings. Today none so far. They aren’t as constant as they were when we got the house on the market. But it still involves regular thorough house cleaning and rushing all the pups out to the car.

The house is easy to clean now that we have it mostly done. It’s just picking up and vacuuming. Our friend Adrian said it once took him a year to sell his house. YIKES! That is a really long time!  I hope Mom sells soon.

Well, thats all for now! I can’t think of more.

Posey is draped across my shoulders and having a snooze. It’s almost bedtime.

My cousin Theresa has asked if I want to look for a place with her, and we get along and both have dogs and also she lives nearer/pretty-much in Toronto than I, so she can actually go to these places and look at them. She doesn’t have a camera tho, so I’m gonna have to depend on her having good taste in housing. I think it will be really good, she is more savvy about Toronto living than I am.

I went for my training tonight, I learned how to use the cash register, it’s super easy this year, and I saw the schedule. Five 8 hour shifts and one 6 hour shift.  And 3 hours for training, so I should make almost 500 bucks. Which will help A LOT! Plus I get reimbursed 35 bucks for my criminal record check. Yay for money!

Mom took the house off the market, she wants to do some renovations and get the house price up. Then she’s gonna sell it, so I hope that all works out well for her.

Little Mister was being super cute today. I had to talk with my cousin in the basement on Mom’s computer because mine is having issues, and he kept coming into the room and wagging his little fuzzy tail.

I have to take my computer to Neural Net tomorrow to get it worked on. It’s having mega issues and I am gonna have to suck it up and use my phone instead for a while.

I got mail from Canada Revenue the other day, I had a 328 dollar return, BUT because I owe money from an EI overpayment, it all went to that debt. BOOOOOO! BUT I should also get some GST.

Okay, now my pup is wiggling around, so I should get her to bed.

In bed! 😀

I don’t know what else to add.  I’ve been super busy the last few days, but once my computer is fixed I’m gonna do some writing for a while. I have to rewrite my scripts and story, and write a monologue.  It will be easy now that we aren’t getting the place ready for viewings all the time.

I love my dogs. They’re so great. I’m glad I will get to take them with me. Some people don’t like dogs because they are so needy, but they don’t bother me when they are always wanting to be close. I think it’s cute.

I’m working some shifts at the Jazzfest again this summer! 🙂 I’m trying to get five shifts, day shifts. I’d have to be there in the morning but I can do it! 😀 I forget how many shifts I did last year. I could check, hang on. Yep, five last year! So I think i can do it! 😀 It will give me about 380 to add to my moving/school fund.

And tomorrow I am going to Winnipeg for my show! 😀 I am bringing my videos on a USB, and I will have my laptop with me in case there is some error with the usb stick. I’m making money there too, they are giving me a SUPER NICE artist fee, and perdium and artist talk money I think. So I am gonna throw that into the moving/school fund too. I don’t know if I am getting artist fees from my distributors this summer. It would help, but I don’t remember what their schedules are for getting out artist fees. They used to do it twice a year, but I think one might have gone to once a year.

I will also get an artist fee when I do my performance in Regina. AND I am still waiting on some back GST from a couple of years. Which would be another 1000 or so.

Math. Blah! I am looking into doing Uhaul pods again. I think I MIGHT be able to get one here to go to Toronto. And then Mom and I would drive a bit of my stuff and the pups to Toronto.

The BEST thing though is something that is totally uncertain, BUT a friend knows someone who is looking for someone to rent her apartment for eight months starting in the middle of August, and it is pet friendly AND in my price range. AND I checked the neighborhood out through google maps and the trip planner on the transit website and I could get to school in about half an hour from there on the subway. So I really hope she gets in touch with me, I’d have to find another place in April but that’s ok, maybe by then a co-op will take me or something.

I haven’t heard from my band yet if they can fund me to go to school. The deadline was May 31st, so I am hoping that they make decisions soon. They funded me through my BFA, but ever since first nations education funds got capped there is less money available to get us educated. It’s totally a way to fuck us over. Keeping us in lower economic brackets and stuff. BLAH!

I’m nervous about going back to school. I hope I can keep up with my classes. If worse comes to worse I could go as a disabled student. But I really need to do fulltime classes, and I don’t know how disabled student status would affect my fellowship.

Anyway, it’s my last night until Saturday with my pups! I’m gonna hug and kiss them tonight. Mom’s become really attached to Posey. Today she joked that she wanted to start over with a new dog and I could have Hermione. I need to get Posey into puppy classes. She needs some obedience training, although she is a smart dog! She knows some basic commands already, like get inside, and come here, and stay.

I’ve spent about 3 hours looking at pictures of space ship interiors, American, Soviet, Russian, everything I could get my eyes on. I think I know what I am looking for now, I read a bit about the Buran space shuttle, which is what the Soviets were working with.  Blah. Research.

I finished watching Orange Is The New Black last night, the end was so good! Go Rosa!

I got some notes on my short sci-fi story. So that’s good, I have some stuff to work on.

Today was a quiet day, we saw Grandpa and Grandma. Mom made us fried chicken. I went on a bus ride. We got some urine destroyer for the dog pees. I envied a happy birthday tutu that was too big for Posey (but so cute!).

I feel like a lot is happening. Is that true? I have a few creative projects going on, I am making my webseries, writing a short story, and getting ready for a ten minute monologue driven performance. I’m also going to Winnipeg for a show this week. Sight is screening on the NSI website on the 16th, and in the middle of this month they are supposed to announce the shortlist for the Future Generation Art Prize (I don’t really expect to be on the shortlist but it is still exciting), Boi Oh Boi is screening at Enzaubert in July and I won’t be there, which is too bad, but it’s ok.

And school is coming up in a matter of weeks. And I have to find a place to live and get my stuff out there in time. The first of September falls on Labour Day, so I should have time to move my stuff from my pod or whatever into my new place. Whew! When things are so uncertain I get really nervous. And I worry and fret. A LOT! I hate not having things all decided already.