Tonight I finally got to see Maleficent! 😀  I was totally satisfied with it!  Cute Angelina, good story, excellent effects.  🙂 But I was anticipating it so much that it could have been Maleficent rolling around on the floor with her crow and I would have been “That’s the best film ever!”

I’m ready to write Episode 6, but not tonight because I am super tired.  Today was busy, I mowed the front and back lawns, made Deanna’s bed, cleaned the bathroom and my room, and did some general tidying in time for the 6:30 showing of our house.  And then we went to a drive thru for dinner with the pups, and dropped them off at home and then went to our movie!

I’m really tired!  I think I will go to bed right away.  I felt pretty good today. I think my depression is going away. I’m feeling more hopeful.  And I got a $50 raise in my monthly cheque from SAID, which is super nice. Second time they have given me a raise! 😀

I can feel sleep sneaking up on me, I’m gonna move to my bed and try and finish this post.

Okay, where was I?  I don’t really have much else to report for today. I was busy. Tomorrow I am going to Concurrent Disorders. I haven’t decided between education or support. I was feeling like I needed support last week, but this week I am not sure.

Tomorrow I am going to the horse track hopefully! I like being there, making a couple cheapy bets, watching the horses, taking in the milleiu! 🙂

Well, that’s enough for today. Nothing super exciting except I got to see Maleficent!

I’m trying not to worry too much as I am doing the initial drafts of my webseries.  I have already gotten to the end of Episode 5.  Exactly halfway there!  Next comes the twist!  Which should be fun to write.

I’m so tired. I slept in, so it’s not even like I had to get up early, but every day we have to get out of the house at some point so strangers can come in and decide if they want to buy it. It’s pretty tiresome, BUT necessary. But Posey doesn’t do well in the car at all.  I really hope that goes away.

Tomorrow a friend is picking me up to go to the Powwow at the University.  I’m looking forward to it! 😀  I haven’t seen her in a long time!

I am feeling on track with my creative projects.  I still have to work on my performance for the Dunlop.  I mailed away my video to Female Eye Film Festival for their screening.  I have to convert and bring three videos to Winnipeg on a flash drive. Um . . . am I forgetting anything?  I should go through my emails to make sure.

My webseries is making me excited again.  I think it’s going to be really awesome. YEAH!

Being creatively busy is when I am happiest I think.  I like when ideas are just pouring through my brain and I have something to show for it. It’s funny, I want to just be a full time filmmaker, and I am, but sometimes I worry I’m never going to be able to comfortably live off of my talents.  And that kind of makes me sad. I don’t want to have a full time day job where I only get three weeks off a year to relax. But “normies” get really upset if you deviate from the status quo.

But why would I care about their opinion?

Ha ha, I bet I named a post that once already.  ANYWAY!

I have finished writing the first drafts of Episodes 1 through 4 of my webseries.  I feel a lot better now that I am writing it, I was stuck for a LONG time!  And I have to shoot before I leave this summer.  I gave the first three episodes to my Mom to read, she liked it so that’s a good sign.  She even laughed a few times.  I think I’ll try and amp the humour when I do the rewrites, but already it’s pretty funny.  I think it’s funny anyway.

I’m keeping it to three minutes for each episode for now, but I will probably let them expand a little bit when I do rewrites.  Just so I can put in more action and stuff.

Hell yeah!

We are having a garage sale soon, June 7th! It will be my first time having a sale, I really need to pare down my possessions so I have to be very ruthless and gather things I no longer need!

I’m going to Winnipeg in a couple weeks or so, which is awesome.  I hope to see old friends!  And I am waiting for some taxes to come back and give me money.  YEAH!  MONEY!

I’m in a good mood, my depression has abated.  I was really worried about the future for a while.  But there is only so much I can do, so I have decided to believe that The Universe Provides.  I know that’s not always true, BUT I have to believe in something.

My Mom said the other day that in the old days, Crees believed in The Great Mystery and not the Creator, because the Creator according to mythology was Wesakejahk and the Muskrat.  I like the idea of The Great Mystery.  It leaves things more open to interpretation.  I can believe in that.

I haven’t gambled in a while, besides lottery tix.  That’s a good thing.  I’m really keeping an eye on it, I don’t want to get into ANOTHER addiction.  That would suck.  Blah!

Posey hates the car.  She gets pukey/drooly everytime we put her in the car, and it worries me because she’s going to be in a car for a while when we go to Ontario.  I don’t want her to dehydrate!  I have to do some research and see what I can do about it.  Poor pup!

There was a spectacular thunderstorm last night and today, and even flooding!  Little Mister hates thunder.  Last night he hid under the bed.  That’s his safe spot.  Even when we had the oven mitt fire, he went and hid under my bed.  Poor little sod!

Posey chewed Mom’s glasses and made teeth marks on the bottoms of her expensive progressive lenses.  And being a good dog owner I promised to pay for new lenses.

That doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it!

Posey was wanting to chew on all kinds of things all day, I bought some pork rawhide chewy things for her and the pups.  It helped.  A bit.

She is super needy, because she is a baby, and I was working on writing this evening and she kept trying to jump into my lap and instead she would fail.  She really likes being close to me.  The problem is the laptop.  There’s not enough room for both. Sad. Poor Posey!

I guess you might wonder what she looks like now, here she is!

But that’s not nearly as funny as the picture I got of Mom and Little Mister at Pike Lake!

LOOK AT HEEM!

OMG it’s so funny!  He looks like Bert Raccoon or a pissed off Muppet!

Anyway, as you may gather dogs bring both good and bad to life, but the good pretty much always outweighs the bad.  And also: dachshunds are super comical.  I love them!

What else?  Oh it’s late, I just wanted to brag about my cute babies!

I’m a little bit depressed.  It just came out of the blue, so I’m not sure what it’s about.  I’m keeping an eye on it.

Last night I had a convoluted dream about being at a major film festival and doing an interview on the red carpet and then suddenly I was on a film set defending a stunt woman who had been told “Your job could be done by monkey wrenches!”  And I was like “Well why don’t you cast a movie with all monkey wrenches then!”

And then I was having an erotic dream with Trixie from Call The Midwife!  It was pretty hot.

I had a hard time waking up today, maybe because my dreams were so interesting.

So far only one person has come to see the house since it went back on the market.  Tonight two people are coming.

It’s so hot today, I’m outside, there’s a nice breeze going through the sunporch.  Pretty sweet.

I wanted to go to Concurrent Disorders today, but I slept in too late.  I guess it’s ok.  I will deal.

Later in the day:

Two more viewings.  A family came tonight, Mom really wants to sell it to a family.

I think I know why I am depressed.  Things are changing.  Like, A LOT of things are changing.  Mom is selling her house and moving to a condo.  I am moving to Toronto at the end of the summer and starting school.  Grandma isn’t doing well, because she is very old and confused.  I’m gonna miss my Mom a lot.  And my other friends here in Saskatoon.  I feel guilty about separating Hermione and Posey, because they love each other so much.

But change is part of life.

Two days later:

Man, I am so bad at writing these things in one day!  I’ve left and come back to this post over and over!

I am one page away from writing the second episode of my webseries.  It’s very factual right now so I’m doing a lot of research while I write, it’s not flowing as easily as I think it will when I get into the fictional parts of scifi.

I’m feeling better today.  I got some good news about two of my videos.  One is that Just Dandy got a really good reception in Montreal, so I am happy about that.  And I can’t say the other good news yet.  But that is ok.

Posey chewed on Mom’s glasses today and made chew marks on the bottoms of her lenses.  So I have to pay for new lenses.  What a drag! It’s gonna cost almost as much as Posey cost in the beginning!  NOOOOOOO!

I’ve been liking all the smells of fires outside this past weekend.  It was nice and hot.  Like summer.  I love summer.

Anyway, I should post this before I wander away and leave it for two days again!

I am doing a shitload of back taxes. I did 2012 last year, on time. I finished 2013 this April. I did 2009 last week.  I finished 2010 tonight.  I apparently filed for 2006, which I totally don’t remember.  I heard you can only do the last ten years of taxes.  Which leaves 2011, 2008, 2007, 2005, 2004, and 2003.  So far it’s looking like I am too poor to owe money.  Which is super nice.

I heard you can only get the last five years of GST.  I don’t know if that is true.  It could be.  I suppose I could call CRA and ask, but why ruin the surprise?  And anyway, I really should get all those taxes done even if they don’t all come with 578 in GST.

I’m quite tired.  I should really go to bed.  We want to go to mcdonalds tomorrow morning for Egg McMuffins.  I’ve finally admitted to Mom that they are better than Tim Horton’s breakfast sandwiches.

My Posey had a vet appointment early this morning.  She hated it.  She hated everything about it.  She growled at the vet.  She got a rabies shot in the bum.  And then a cocker spaniel tried to pick on her, and she flipped out and barked at him.  Bad day for Posey!  But then we took the pups to Pike Lake and walked around.  They had fun.  I got a tick.  It didn’t bite me, but in the post office on the way home I saw it walking around on me and it freaked me out and I did sort of a flappy dance to get it off.

Flappy dancing!

I should have enough money to move!  Which is good!

I was gonna write tonight.  I didn’t.  I just did my taxes and went for a bus ride.  Dammit.  BUT tomorrow I have no plans, so it might happen then!

I forget where I left off.  Mother’s Day?

The house has been sold.  It sold in two days from when it was officially put on the market.  Tomorrow is the home inspection, which is pretty much the last condition that must be met before a sold sign gets put on the Century 21 sign.

The dogs are doing well.  I was reading facebook and someone posted about the six “lost” dogs who were supposedly stolen from a dogwalker’s truck.  Turns out the dogwalker left them in the truck in the heat and they all died.  And then she dumped them in a ditch to cover up what happened.  Such a sad story.  It really makes me not want to hire a dog walker.  I’ve heard other stories about dog walker’s dogs getting stolen or having unfortunate ends, and it really worries me.  I guess Little Mister and The Pose will always be walked by me.  Oh, but having a friend look after just the two of them is different.  Different than having six dogs or eight dogs!

I got my first rough draft of my story finished and sent to my editor, he’s gonna snail mail me some hard copy feedback edit.  So I’m looking forward to that, I’ve never worked with an editor like that before, I’m totally interested!

I went to Queer City Cinema this past weekend and had a good time.  Saw some good films, some odd films, a good mix of stuff.  Showed Just Dandy and got a good response, which was nice.

I also learned that the playa which Burning Man happens on has the same dust as in drywall.  And I also heard that they used to do nuclear testing on it, so it’s radioactive as well!  Yikes!  Makes me glad I have never gone!

Although I have just read about the Nevada Test Site and I think that’s somewhere else, BUT there is probably fallout on the Playa.  ALSO I found out while reading about the Nevada Test Site that people in Las Vegas used to watch mushroom clouds from their hotel rooms.  That would be SO EERIE!  I think I would freak if I saw a mushroom cloud.

I don’t remember if I used to have dreams of atomic war as a kid, although I wouldn’t be surprised if I did because I grew up during the Cold War and being a Canadian we were always being reminded that we were right IN THE MIDDLE of the paths of various nukes.  Coming from the Soviet Union, Coming from the Americans, a stray bomb could hit us at any time in the barrage of missles.  Anyway, the funny thing is that I now have a LOT of dreams about aliens invading.  Like, a shit ton of dreams.  And sometimes they seem like they are helpful, but still they are aliens and scare me and I’m always like, in a parking lot pointing up at the sky as they are coming down and showing other people where they are.

I have never seen a mushroom cloud in person.  But I have seen UFO’s.  So it kinda makes sense that I would dream of aliens more than atomic weapons.

I found out today that Corner Gas The Movie is gonna be shot in Saskatchewan soon!  Pretty exciting!  I love Corner Gas.

I’m WAY behind on my webseries.  I totally have to get to work.  I’m a little bit stuck.  And I used to have so many ideas around it, and now they are stalled.  SO that’s something I have to work on.

Posey likes laying on the floor at my feet.  It’s super adorable.

Here’s a film about atomic war, it was my favorite when I was a kid!

Well pull my lips off!

It’s Saturday night! (Technically Mother’s Day morning!)  I had a good night, spent time with my friend Laurel.  Lost some money.  BUT I am okay with that. I made lists of all the things I have to do in the next little while.  I need to upload a file to WeTransfer or Dropbox for Entzaubert.  I should try that now.  I also have to make copies of some other videos and send them off to a gallery and a festival.  I have a show coming up soon in Winnipeg, I’m excited to go there, hope I see some old friends. I’m super irritable these days, and have been for the past six weeks since my risperidone was dropped by .5 mg to 3mg.  I thought it would go away, I gave it a chance to settle down, but I’m super crabby and irritable and angry and it’s wearing me down.  Anyway, I am seeing Dr. Conacher on Tuesday and I am gonna see what she suggests, she might bring me back up .5 mg.  I hope she does, it would make me feel a lot better.

I’m gonna meet someone soon! 🙂  Like an actual cutie who lives in a different city and whom I have been having conversations with online.  I’m going down to Regina and we are finally going to meet and have a real conversation!  I’m excited, I have no expectations, she is super cute and I’ll just see what happens I guess.  I’m okay with whatever happening, I mean, we might just be really awkward with each other.  According to OK Cupid we are 98% matched! 🙂

What else?  I am still waiting to hear about this job I applied for, I don’t know if they have done interviews yet. I am still trying to decide about going to Berlin again. I have all the tax forms I need to do my back taxes.  8 years of T4’s and forms and guides.  I just need to find my pencil and some free time.

I am almost gone cleaning up my room to make it “Show Ready.”  I also have to tape up and stack my boxes downstairs. I have sleepy dogs. I am having bursts of creative thoughts, I need to work on them.  I’m glad it’s starting to come out though, because I really need my creativity to get working again!

Also 4 year olds are terrible humans.  It’s some crappy developmental stage.  It’s too bad I’m gonna move away before my nephew turns five and gets nice again.  Right now he’s a hellion who keeps making death threats about everybody and talking about where he’s gonna keep his guns when he grows up!  I also have a suspicion he is getting terrible influences from the kids up north.  Ugh!  Well anyway, he is not my kid!  And thank god for that!

I love Little Mister  and Posey!  My two fur-kids.  They are really sweet.  Posey’s got puppy bad habits still, but Little Mister is this adorable old man now. 🙂  With dignified little silver hairs in his fur!  <3! Okay, it’s late and I have nothing further to say!  AND tomorrow morning I gotta get up and get crepes!  And champagne for her mimosas!

I miss my pal Deanna.  She is just busy, but I miss going out with her to the Coach and visiting.  Ha ha, it hasn’t even been that long since we have gone out.

My neck hurts.  I slept on it wrong.  I hate it.

I had a weird sleep last night, because I was writing something super dramatic just  before I went to sleep.  The night time seems to be the best time to write right now, because that’s when everyone else has gone to bed.  I’ve got six pages written.  It’s going pretty quick, which is surprising.  I guess it’s a story that wanted to be told.

I have so much stuff coming up.  I think I mentioned that in my last post.  I feel like I am finally doing the work I need to do though, I think I might finally be getting into a nice steady creative groove.  I have a lot to think about, and now we aren’t working so hard on the house, so it is getting easier.  I’m looking forward to when I live with roommates who aren’t family though, because I think I will be able to be more myself then.

The dogs are fine.  We got new carpet in the living room and they haven’t peed on it yet!  Yay!  😀  Kristjan is staying until Friday and today he ran into the living room and said “This is one big pee pad!”  Made me laugh!

I’m thinking of using my short story as the basis for my MA project.  I think it would be really good.  And it would give me an excuse to take the special effects class.

I already know mom’s gonna hate my story.  Oh well.

It’s funny, I’m talking about how I need more time to work on my projects, but I am also feeling like I need more time to socialize outside of the house.  I guess I need more friends here.  But I’m leaving.  I don’t know what I need.

Boi Oh Boi is screening at Entzaubert this year, I’m trying to decide if I want to go or not.  It’s a super fun festival and I always have a good time.  I’m just not sure.  I have to think.

So I am ok.  I went out and played Lobstermania and won 60 bucks.  50 in one spin!  🙂  Sweet!

I got a call from my Dad today, which surprised me.  We had a nice chat.  A couple of his dogs died over winter, which was sad.  Dogs on the Rez don’t have very long lifespans.

What else?  I’m in a good mood.  Well, to be honest it is going up and down.  I was doing A LOT of work getting this house “Show Ready” and it was SUPER STRESSING me out!  I was moving large furniture like dressers and tables and then also carrying boxes of books up and down stairs.  And yesterday I just hit the wall.  My body ached, I hadn’t been able to sleep in for a VERY long time, so I was sleep deprived, and I just wanted to cry.  I had it.  I was veering between being extremely upset to extremely angry.  Like, this had been going on for three weeks or so.  And today finally we didn’t have to do much.  Tomorrow is just some tidying in my room and moving some boxes once the new floors are in.  So I think I am ok.

Kristjan is here, which can be kind of crazy.  I don’t know how we are going to do this with him here, because people are starting to come and look at the house on Wednesday and decide if they want to buy it.  So it has to be SUPER CLEAN and Steven is not very good at cleaning after his son.  Which makes me worry I am going to be running around stressed out until Friday cleaning after someone else’s kid.

Anyway, in a fit of pique I posted on Facebook wondering if I could stay at someone’s house until Friday with my two dogs, and I was super surprised when someone actually said yes, especially since that person and I haven’t spent more than five minutes in each other’s presence since 2007.

What else?  I am excited to move away, but it’s a long time from now and I have other things to do between now and then.

1. Write a sci fi short story for Theytus books.
2. Go to Winnipeg for a show at Urban Shaman.
3. Do a performance at the Dunlop in Regina.
4. Make a webseries.

Also I have to go to Regina for Queer City Cinema which is showing Just Dandy, and I have to pack up my stuff and put it in a storage unit until August.  AND find a place to live in Toronto.  Lots of things!

OH!  And do my back taxes for 8 years.

So much.

My head is swimming.

I’m getting requests for my videos more and more.  That’s really nice.  Just Dandy is showing at the Montreal Underground Film Festival this month.  Sight is going to show in Toronto again.  And three videos are showing in Winnipeg.

Edit***** I wrote 771 words of my short story! 😀 Stopping only because I am tired!